


Mario & Luigi: Dark Matters

by Overlord_III



Category: Mario & Luigi RPG (Video Games), Mario Story | Paper Mario, Super Mario Bros. (Video Games)
Genre: Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26113054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Overlord_III/pseuds/Overlord_III
Summary: Airships flying the flag of King Bowser have leveled a city in Sky Kingdom, sending rest of the Mushroom Kingdom into chaos. Why would Bowser do this? Does he want a full-scale war? Or is this part of a more sinister scheme planned by a more sinister mind than the Koopa King?
Kudos: 5





	1. A Double Conundrum

**Chapter I: A Double Conundrum**

_The_ _Mushroom Kingdom, shortly after Mario and Luigi’s adventure back in time._ _The Princess has called an urgent meeting, summoning her advisors, including Toadsworth, the Star Sprite observer Starlow, and the Mario Bros._ _—_

_Flip_. Another projected photograph of the now ruined town, floating in the sky. _Flip_. A photo of a once lovely house, now a smoldering ruin. _Flip._ A blurry photo, taken from the ground (at least as on the ground as one can get in the Sky Kingdom) showing what appears to be an airship. From the stern of the ship, a black and red flag flutters. Despite the blurriness of the airship, the flag’s emblem is indubitably clear.

“That is the flag of one, and only one rapscallion! King Bowser!” exclaimed the old steward, an elderly fellow named Toadsworth, upon seeing the last photograph. “Unless these old eyes are giving out, that has to be that fire-spewing thug’s standard!”

“It is Bowser’s flag. If anyone would know, I would,” said Princess Peach. This bombing had her greatly unnerved. Bowser was really only a nuisance in her schedule, getting her away from the affairs of state for a few days, before the hero-plumbers returned her home. She saw the Koopa King as gruff, rough, and tough, but a game ender? Not in his character. “It seems odd, though. Bowser doesn’t usually resort to attacks like that. He usually just storms my castle and takes me away. While that method hasn’t really worked, he’s way too arrogant to change it.”

“Maybe one of his minions finally convinced him to,” said one of the toads in attendance said. The others piped up as well. “What if Bowser isn’t in control anymore? If so, who is? What’s gonna happen to us now? Does this mean war? Does Bowser want a war with us?”

Starlow, floating quietly off to a corner of the room, was thinking to herself. _Something isn’t right about this. Bowser is more of an overconfident pest than anything else. The only time he was really dangerous was when he got his hands on the Star Rod, but even then Mario beat him. I want to look more into this._

The peanut gallery went on and on for a few minutes. The Bros. took advantage of this clamor to talk to the Princess. “Princess? I don’t like this any more than you do, but I swear to you that whoever did this, Bowser or whoever, is gonna pay, big time,” said Mario, the older of the two. “I’ll help you, Bro, but what if Bowser didn’t do this? He’s harsh and annoying and all, but, uh, it’s not like him to go from kidnapping to game-ending overnight!” interjected Luigi. The Princess nodded to Luigi’s answer. “We should talk later, you two,” she said. She turned to the babbling Toads.

“Ladies, gentlemen! Please, can we have order? Thank you. I would suggest that we look into this matter further, before we jump to any conclusions about Bowser and his army. I propose that we send our best. Mario and Luigi. Once they look into the attack, then we can start worrying in earnest about a war or the like.”

“Your Highness? Hello-yello? I just wanted to say something before we end the meeting!” said Starlow, returning from her thoughts. The Star Sprite, small, yellow, spherical, with shoes on her feet and a little star perched on top of her head, floated towards the central podium.  
“We always welcome the opinion of our friends in Star Haven. The floor is yours.”

“Thank you, Princess! I just wanted to say that I think this is really unusual. I would like to tag along with you two, Mario and Luigi!”

“Oh yeah! Luigi?” exclaimed Mario.

“The more help we have and all, the better, bro!”  
The meeting turned from worried queries to statements of confidence in the Bros. Toadsworth took the opportunity to put in a few words of encouragement to the plumbers. “We have every trust and every confidence in you, Mario, Luigi. You’ve helped this kingdom over and over again. We must ask you to do so again. You have always bested the threats against this land, be it world-ending clowns, voice-stealing witches, or of course, Bowser!”

“Did someone just page the King of Awesome?” The whole room jumped at the grating baritone voice that resounded in the room. All eyes turned to the doors, gazing upon the object of their dread. Bowser. The King of the Koopas. The sight of him sent all the toads in the room trembling. Mario and Luigi recovered themselves quickly, standing ready to get between the Koopa King and the Princess. Peach, recollecting herself, firmly met Bowser’s furious gaze. The Koopa King wasn’t just here, he was livid.

“I’m not here to swipe you just yet, Princess. Sorry not sorry to have interrupted your _very important_ hoedown here, but I want answers, Princess. ANSWERS!”

“We want answers too, Bowser. What do you have to say about the fifty-six game-overs in the Sky Kingdom?”

“What?! I don’t know anything about Sky Kingdom other than I conquered it a gazillion times! I guess me not kidnapping you in a while made you lose some marbles. Whatever. Answer me this, Princess! What about the seventy-five game-overs I have to deal with, and a bombed-out air base? Kamek! Pretend to be useful for once, you dusty old sack!”

The room fell silent at Bowser’s revelation, everyone exchanging uncomfortable glances with each other. As they did, the ancient Koopa mage whizzed in on his broom, putting more photos in the projector. _Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip._

“Mamma Mia…” said Luigi. The whole room looked upon images of a blasted military base, all of which remained was some tumbled walls. The last photo showed a hooded, cloaked Toad with glasses delivering a large package to the gates of the base.

“Well? WELL??! Where’s your Sky Kingdom crap now? I’m waiting, Princess. You know how much I hate waiting!”

“Bowser. I don’t know. Just like you don’t know what happened in Sky Kingdom. I’m really sorry that happened, but I don’t know anything about it.”

The burly Koopa King fumed for almost a minute, fists clenched, eyes blazing, almost shaking from fury. Mario and Luigi jumped up and between Bowser and the Princess. “Princess! He’s gonna lose it! Get out of here!” cried Mario. The ruler obeyed, dashing out of the way just in time. The other toads followed Mario’s advice as well. Bowser caught one glimpse of the plumbers and snapped. Roaring loud enough to shake the castle, the Koopa King blasted the podium and the projector screen with fire. “I was ready to listen to the Princess! But I see Mario and Green ‘Stache, and Mr. Nice Bowser is gonzo!”

The fire burnt the podium to the ground. But there were no plumber-ashes to speak of.Luigi had leapt up to avoid the blast, and with a “Yahoo!” stomped firmly on Bowser’s head. The musclebound King staggered from the attack, but as Luigi leapt off of the King’s head, he felt a strong, vise-like grip take his leg. The world spun for a few seconds, before Luigi found himself face-planting into the wall. Bowser triumphantly stomped towards the green plumber, laughing as a pinkish glow surrounded himself, but not before a red blur hurtled from the side, clocking the Koopa’s face with a steel mallet. _That will smart for a few weeks,_ thought Kamek, returning the photographs to his blue robes. As Mario smashed his hammer into Bowser’s face, the King toppled down, seeing stars. Kamek gawked at his fallen boss with embarrassment at how quickly he went down this time.

The “King of Awesome” lay, defeated on the floor, his body immersed in a pinkish haze. “Guh… ugh… wha… happened… not… my A-game… argh…”

“You felt a little weaker than usually, didn’t you, Bowser?” said Starlow, rather derisively. She and the Princess were now standing close to the doors leading out of the room. The Princess appeared to be concentrating. Both royalty and Star Sprite emanated a pink aura. “Starlow and I used wish power to slow you down. And now, we’ll clean up this mess,” said the Princess. She stepped forward, the pink aura growing stronger. She raised her hand, pointing to the sky. Bowser floated and soon launched out of the castle, leaving a hole in the roof. He roared as he hurtled away into the distance. “CRUUUUUUUUUUUD!!!!!”

Kamek took this as an opportunity to show himself out, not wishing to be caught in the same predicament. He soared through the hole in the roof, and was gone. Peach relaxed herself, the aura vanishing from her. She turned to her saviors. “Thank you, Mario! Thank you, Lui- oh no!” Luigi was still stuck in the wall, having been rather forcefully relocated there by Bowser before the Wish power weakened him. Mario managed to peel his bruised, unconscious brother away from the wall. “Luigi! Bro! You okey-dokie?!”

The green plumber groaned and came to. “Mama mia…” he said. “Did… did we stomp him and all, bro?”

“Oh yeah, bro, and Peach flung him out the roof with some magic!”

“I’m okey-dokie then.” Luigi got up, bruises, scratches and all.

The Princess spoke next. “Mario, Luigi, Starlow, you should get ready to go to Sky Kingdom as soon as possible. Luigi, will you be alright? Bowser looks like he did a number on you.”

“Yeah, Princess. I’mma be ok.”

Bowser fell with a heavy thud in the midst of a forest, where he lay, unconscious. A small figure on a broom zoomed overhead, turning and spiraling down. Kamek had followed his master’s flight, and landed next to the King.

“Hey. Hey! You, wake up!” said Kamek, casting a spell into Bowser to jolt him awake. It didn’t work. “Wake up, Your Sleepiness!” said Kamek again. He cast another spell. Bowser stirred with this one.

“Ugh… how did… how could I… lose… so easily?”

“Your Soreness, they used magic to weaken you. It was not a fair fight, if you ask me sir.”

Bowser got to his feet. “You, Kamek. Where are we? Where’s my castle from here?”  
“I believe this region is known as Dimble Wood, Your Ignorance. It is sparsely--”  
“Do I look like I need another geography class, Kamek?”

“By your own laws, yes, Your Ungratefulness. In practice, no.”

“My castle isn’t too far from here.” Bowser thought about something for a brief while. A rare occurrence. “Kamek, summon the battle fleet, stat! I’m not gonna let any pipe-crawling chumps get the better of ME! NOT THIS TIME, MARIO! NOT THIS TIME, GREEN ‘STACHE!”


	2. A Double Win

**Chapter II: A Double Win**

_Tomorrow_ _is the day of action._ _Tomorrow_ _is the day of moving years of planning_ _forward_ _. The four fink-rats of the Light Prognosticus will be doing the fighting_ _with each other_ _as I have planned. But they shall_ _taste_ _not_ _even a drop of_ _winning. They shall know the trying. and the crying. They shall boil in_ _a_ _soup of lose, which is laughing at them. I shall know the sweet taste of win, when the sun is_ _rising_ _._

_The fink-rats give me chortles. They think that they did the hurting to each other. The Princess and the mustaches thinks that the_ _turtle king_ _did the hurting to them. The_ _turtle king_ _thinks the Princess and the mustaches did the hurting to him. But they are both drinking deep the tea of wrong. When my time comes, they shall_ _cry_ _a song of sad into their tea of wrong._ _Their tears will be tasting sweet to me, for their tears are_ _the icing on my cake of win_ _!_

_Soon their castles will be mine. My machines will eat the cake of victory, and laugh at the fink-rats. With the turtle_ _king of stupid’s_ _kingdom, I can build more machines to take the princess’ castle,_ _and the_ _sweet_ _treasure below it_ _._

_All tomorrow. Tomorrow they will_ _begin to_ _eat_ _the bitter_ _casserole_ _of_ _lose_ _, when they_ _have the_ _fighting with each other. Tomorrow, my plans will be having success! Tomorrow,_ _I_ _WILL HAVE WINNING!_


	3. Battle over the Sand

**Chapter III: Battle over the Sand**

The sun shone brightly, scorching the golden sand that the Kingdom was renowned for. There was little to break the rays of sun, except for five vast, dark objects high in the sky. Airships. Each one was like a flying fortress, coated in a hide of steel plates, bristling in Bill Cannons. Here, where each vessel was crowned by the wispy clouds, Bowser had marshaled the bulk of his air power. On the ground, his troops were at risk of direct contact with the pesky brothers. But in the air? They reigned supreme. The continent, the world, even the galaxy was in their reach to conquer.

As usual, Bowser felt eager to get this attack underway, looking from the bridge of the Koopa Cruiser over the barren sea of gold. As usual, the Princess sent nothing to challenge him. “Kamek, when will we be in position? You know I hate waiting.”

“In approximately five minutes, Your Eagerness. I took the liberty of targeting our bombardment within sight of Toad Town and the Mushroom Castle, so they can see what defying you will bring.”

“Gwa-ha-ha-ha! Kamek, I knew you had a knack for evil! You do have the pilots flooring it, right?”  
“Yes, Your Impatience. We are moving at top speed.”  
“I want my new Royal Guards to get a good look of this. Where are they?”

“They should have been here a few minutes ago, Your Arrogance. I sent for--”

As Kamek spoke, the doors to the bridge slid open, revealing three minions: a short Shy Guy in green, carrying a backpack with a black and red Bowser flag, a red shell Paratroopa with a Bowser-emblazoned bucket on his head, and a pajama-dressed Goomba with a Bowser-decorated nightcap. They hurried over to the glass overlooking over the sea of gold, and stood to attention. The Shy Guy spoke first.

“Sir, Sergeant Guy, reporting for duty.”

Then the Paratroopa. “Sir, Corporal Paraplonk, reporting for duty.”

Then the Goomba. “Sir, P-private Goomp, alive a-and well.”

Guy and Paraplonk turned to Goomp angrily. “Goomp, we rehearsed this! You’re supposed to say ‘Reporting for duty,’ not whatever nonsense that was!” cried Sgt. Guy.

“C’mon, Goomp!” said Cpl. Paraplonk. Pvt. Goomp sank down. “S-sorry, guys, I-i got nervous.”

“What are you three minions jabbering about? You’ve got a bombardment to see, so you don’t need me around next time. I could be kicking some other Kingdom’s shell right now, but since you chumps don’t know how a Koopa King bombards stuff, I gotta show you!” growled Bowser. “I already know all your names like the back of my hand anyway. Sergeant Paragoomp, status report on the engine room.” Bowser’s command was met with confused glances. “Ugh, you, with the bucket thing on your head, I mean.” The King pointed angrily at Cpl. Paraplonk.

“Running spectacular, sir. Nothing wrong at all. Clean and shined, per Kamek’s orders. Has us doing that when we’re free,” responded the Corporal.

“Kamek, you had these guys shine the engines?”

“Yes, Your Ignorance, seeing that they teetered on the brink of uselessness.”

“Don’t call me ‘Your Ignorance.’ I don’t even know what that means.”

“Yes, Your Offendedness.”

“Whatever. Enjoy the view, because there won’t be much left to look at once we’re done here. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!”

The Guards and Kamek responded in unison, each one confident in their master: “Yes, Your Destructiveness.”

After a short while, the airship battle fleet reached its intended position, coming to a halt. “Let ‘em have it, boys!” cried Bowser, once the news had reached his ears. A Goomba minion, attending a communications console, looked up from his work to inform the King of something urgent.

“Sir, the _Vindicator_ has sighted a bi-wing craft on their starboard side, heading from the direction of Toad Town and the Mushroom Castle. It is… red and green, sir! Piloted by two humans… It has to be… Sir, Danger Code Red-Green! _Vindicator_ requests orders for immediate action, sir!”

“What?! The plumbers again? Remind them where the ground is! Repeat that order to the rest of the fleet! If we have it and it shoots, I want it pointed at them and firing!” ordered Bowser loudly, half-frustrated at the plumbers’ continued interference, and half-delighted for an actual challenge.

Soon, the fleet had wheeled around, guns blazing at… nothing.

The bad news continued. “Sir, _Vindicator_ reports intruder alert! It’s the plumbers! They’ve landed their plane on the _Vindicator_!

Sir, _Vindicator_ reports that the plumbers have reached the bridge and that they—transmission lost, sir.

Sir, _Devastation_ reports that _Vindicator_ is on a collision course with them and-- Transmission severed, sir.

Sir, _Annihilator_ and _Invincible_ are lost too!

Sir, what’s left of _Annihilator_ and _Invincible_ is heading towards us!”

All this time, Bowser grew more and more furious, raised his hand to break the windows of the bridge. Kamek took control of the situation.

“Helm, take evasive action! Prepare to abandon ship, Procedure Code Red-Green!”

“NOOOOOO!” and the glass shattered. Bowser struck it full on with an raging fist.

“Your Fierceness, the wreckage will hit us, we must evacu—”

“SHUT UP! I SWEAR TO… I WILL THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW IF YOU SAY ONE MORE THING! FINE! ABANDON SHIP! RUN! RUN AWAY LIKE THE SPINELESS CHUMPS YOU ARE!”

“Your Angriness, please, you must leave the ship! If we go down in the desert, we’ll be stranded for weeks! What will the Bowser Baddies be without Bowser?” pleaded Kamek, unintimidated by his master’s threats. Bowser didn’t move. The old Magikoopa changed tack. “What about the eight children you left at home, Your Sourness? They need you.” Bowser said nothing for while, but his rage dissipated once Kamek mentioned the kids, and the warm desert air blew on his face through the broken glass of the bridge.

“Ready my Clown Car,” growled the King through gritted teeth. Kamek nodded, running off to obey orders. Bowser turned to his three guards. “You three ladies, you’re coming in the Clown Car with me, you got it?”

“Yes, Your Menacingness.”

Soon, the Koopa Air Fleet was a sorry tangle of metal, splintered wood, and thankfully dud ammunition in the middle of the desert. Most of the crew had gotten away on escape pods and smaller airboats, while some were trapped in the wreckage. Bowser, Kamek, and the Royal Guard flew away towards Dark Land. Bowser looked at the dashboard of his Clown Car, raging dismay filling his eyes and anger burning inside him.

“Alright, which one of you pathetic losers is getting burned when we land? Tell me, who _didn’t_ refuel this thing?! Tell me now or you are all getting burnage when we get on the ground!”

The four minions babbled for some time, blaming each other.

“You told Kamek to ready it, he was supposed to check!”  
“I trusted you to get it done, Sergeant Guy, and now you’re blaming me?

“Didn’t order him to. Simply assumed he would do it.”

“OH, REALLY, CORPORAL! DO YOU MEAN TO SAY I, KAMEK, HAVE TO TELL YOU TO DO EVERYTHING?!”

“… Y-yeah…” said all three guards.

“Oh my Stars…” Kamek facepalmed.

Before the arguing could resume, the Clown Car sputtered down over the forest. Out of fuel, nothing left. Bowser had been listening in silent rage to the blame game unfolding before him. In a surprisingly calm voice, he said “Kamek. Are there wings on this thing?”

“Your Unpleasantness, you rejected that feature a grand total of six times.”

“Kamek. You messed this up. When I get my hands on you, you senile piece of—”

With that, the Clown Car, along with its occupants, fell down to the ground, its occupants screaming “CRUUUUUUUUUD!” Kamek couldn’t help but snicker at the fact that Bowser was unable to finish his threatening. But the wizard still had to make sure his King was alright. So down he went on his broom.


	4. Aftermath and a Wish

**Chapter IV:** **Aftermath** **and a Wish**

“Mario?!”

“Bro!”

“Mario! Wake up!” came a voice, breaking the silence that had engulfed Mario since… since when? Mario opened his eyes, looking up into Luigi’s worried, slightly bruised face.

“Oh, Luigi… thank the Stars you’re ok!” said Mario, pulling Luigi into a caring embrace.

“You too, bro. You too.”

“Wh—what happened, Luigi?”

“We got’em, bro! We took down Bowser’s fleet and all! I was looking for you through the wreckage and all, and I helped a few of Bowser’s minions out of the mess, before I found you. They were so scared, bro, they thought I was gonna end their games and all. I… kinda feel sorry for those minions of Bowser’s.”

“I do to, Luigi. I don’t like stomping them anymore than you do, but… remember what we’re fighting against. Bowser wants the Kingdom for himself, and he’ll stop at nothing to get it, and the Princess. It’s sad, Luigi, but his minions can’t show mercy when they attack. We don’t have the choice either. It’s not easy, little bro, but it’s how it is right now.”

“I know, bro.” Luigi paused for a moment, sitting down next to his brother. A thought seized him.“I remember when we used to be actual plumbers, fixing pipes and sinks and all. The pay wasn’t great, the work was hard and all, and it just put food on the table. And I don’t know about you, bro, but... I was happy. I wish we could go back to the way things were before, before Bowser ever started kidnapping Peach. ”  
“We gotta get to the source of the problem. But right now, Luigi, I think we have a bigger problem.” Mario helped his brother up to his feet. “We need to get water, soon, or we’re finished.”

Luigi looked around himself sadly at the newly-added airship ruins in the desert, before perking up. “You’re right, bro. We can’t go back to the old life. Not yet. Maybe once we take care of Bowser, things will be back to the way it used to be. Let’s-a go!”

The two bros exchanged smiles, and with newfound confidence, trudged off homeward, to tell Princess Peach what had transpired.

They would not need to tell the Princess everything however. Both she and Starlow, standing on a high terrace of the Mushroom Castle, had been watching the whole spectacle unfold. This most recent defeat of Bowser ended their chat about their respective homes’ cuisine, notably desserts found in Star Haven and the Mushroom Kingdom. “Stars they… they did it. Can you see it, Starlow? Here, my binoculars,” said the Princess, almost dumbfounded at the spectacular chain reaction of collisions that reduced Bowser’s airship fleet to rubble. The Star Sprite took telekinetic hold of the binoculars, looking out across the wide span of golden sands at the smoking wreckage of the airships. “I’ve always heard about the Mario Bros., how they saved the world so many times, but I’ve never seen it for myself. They make it look so… easy.” replied Starlow, amazed.

“They pull through, Starlow. They always have. Sooner or later, they pull through,” said Peach with admiration in her voice. “They have to.”

“Star Haven remembers those fearful days when Bowser stole the Star Rod. He was invincible, his every wish would come true, to the exclusion of anyone else’s, but still they beat him,” Starlow mused. _We always though_ _t_ _that_ _mortal issues_ _should be left alone._ _But Bowser changed all that_ _._ _By stealing the Rod, h_ _e could have done anything. Wished himself omnipotent._ _Destroyed the universe to remake in his image. Things I don’t dare imagine. The_ _Star Spirits_ _decided that in case Bowser would try again, or someone else with Bowser’s audacity would imitate him, all mortal worlds would have a Star Sprite to keep an eye on things. At least they said one eye, rather than both._ Starlow looked up wistfully at the sky, futilely hoping to see through the endless blue veil hiding the stars. _I guess the other eye always looks upward, to home. I miss_ _it so. Why can’t things go back to the way they used to be?_

“Starlow? Starlow?”

The Star Sprite snapped back to reality. “Sorry, Princess, I was thinking about things… I—I’ll go find Mario and Luigi. Will you be safe here?”

“Oh, thank you, Starlow, don’t worry about me. By the looks of it, Bowser won’t becoming after me for a bit. He’s got a few injuries to nurse, if that tangled wreck in the desert is any indicator, and that air base,” said Peach.

Starlow’s eyes went wide at the mention of the Koopa air base. _Oh no! I’d forgotten about that!_ _That’s really something I got to look in to._

“Starlow?”  
“Hm? Oh! Sorry again, I just remembered that’s why Bowser barged in to that meeting two days ago. I’ll be going now, Princess!” The Star Sprite floated up and away towards the desert, turning with a beaming smile and calling out one last time, “Yello-goodbye!” Standing on the terrace, the Princess waved back to Starlow.

 _They have to pull through_ , she thought to herself. _The Kingdom needs them. I need them._ She looked down lovingly over the fair streets of Toad Town, its denizens going about their mostly tranquil lives. _These are my people, and I_ _know them_ _like none other_ _. They_ _are not warriors_ _or conquerors_ _._ _They are makers, not destroyers._ _They are_ _a_ _kind and_ _generous_ _folk_ _at heart, and that makes_ _them all the more worth protecting. They thrive in peace. I pray… I hope…_ She looked up for the unseen stars. _I wish that Mario and Luigi can keep this_ _world_ _safe. For everyone._ A single star twinkled in answer, alone in all the cloudless sky, glinting softly off the single tear running down the Princess’ face. She smiled, full of hope. Her wish had been heard.


	5. Journeys

**Chapter IV:** **Aftermath** **and a Wish**

“Mario?!”

“Bro!”

“Mario! Wake up!” came a voice, breaking the silence that had engulfed Mario since… since when? Mario opened his eyes, looking up into Luigi’s worried, slightly bruised face.

“Oh, Luigi… thank the Stars you’re ok!” said Mario, pulling Luigi into a caring embrace.

“You too, bro. You too.”

“Wh—what happened, Luigi?”

“We got’em, bro! We took down Bowser’s fleet and all! I was looking for you through the wreckage and all, and I helped a few of Bowser’s minions out of the mess, before I found you. They were so scared, bro, they thought I was gonna end their games and all. I… kinda feel sorry for those minions of Bowser’s.”

“I do to, Luigi. I don’t like stomping them anymore than you do, but… remember what we’re fighting against. Bowser wants the Kingdom for himself, and he’ll stop at nothing to get it, and the Princess. It’s sad, Luigi, but his minions can’t show mercy when they attack. We don’t have the choice either. It’s not easy, little bro, but it’s how it is right now.”

“I know, bro.” Luigi paused for a moment, sitting down next to his brother. A thought seized him.“I remember when we used to be actual plumbers, fixing pipes and sinks and all. The pay wasn’t great, the work was hard and all, and it just put food on the table. And I don’t know about you, bro, but... I was happy. I wish we could go back to the way things were before, before Bowser ever started kidnapping Peach. ”  
“We gotta get to the source of the problem. But right now, Luigi, I think we have a bigger problem.” Mario helped his brother up to his feet. “We need to get water, soon, or we’re finished.”

Luigi looked around himself sadly at the newly-added airship ruins in the desert, before perking up. “You’re right, bro. We can’t go back to the old life. Not yet. Maybe once we take care of Bowser, things will be back to the way it used to be. Let’s-a go!”

The two bros exchanged smiles, and with newfound confidence, trudged off homeward, to tell Princess Peach what had transpired.

They would not need to tell the Princess everything however. Both she and Starlow, standing on a high terrace of the Mushroom Castle, had been watching the whole spectacle unfold. This most recent defeat of Bowser ended their chat about their respective homes’ cuisine, notably desserts found in Star Haven and the Mushroom Kingdom. “Stars they… they did it. Can you see it, Starlow? Here, my binoculars,” said the Princess, almost dumbfounded at the spectacular chain reaction of collisions that reduced Bowser’s airship fleet to rubble. The Star Sprite took telekinetic hold of the binoculars, looking out across the wide span of golden sands at the smoking wreckage of the airships. “I’ve always heard about the Mario Bros., how they saved the world so many times, but I’ve never seen it for myself. They make it look so… easy.” replied Starlow, amazed.

“They pull through, Starlow. They always have. Sooner or later, they pull through,” said Peach with admiration in her voice. “They have to.”

“Star Haven remembers those fearful days when Bowser stole the Star Rod. He was invincible, his every wish would come true, to the exclusion of anyone else’s, but still they beat him,” Starlow mused. _We always though_ _t_ _that_ _mortal issues_ _should be left alone._ _But Bowser changed all that_ _._ _By stealing the Rod, h_ _e could have done anything. Wished himself omnipotent._ _Destroyed the universe to remake in his image. Things I don’t dare imagine. The_ _Star Spirits_ _decided that in case Bowser would try again, or someone else with Bowser’s audacity would imitate him, all mortal worlds would have a Star Sprite to keep an eye on things. At least they said one eye, rather than both._ Starlow looked up wistfully at the sky, futilely hoping to see through the endless blue veil hiding the stars. _I guess the other eye always looks upward, to home. I miss_ _it so. Why can’t things go back to the way they used to be?_

“Starlow? Starlow?”

The Star Sprite snapped back to reality. “Sorry, Princess, I was thinking about things… I—I’ll go find Mario and Luigi. Will you be safe here?”

“Oh, thank you, Starlow, don’t worry about me. By the looks of it, Bowser won’t becoming after me for a bit. He’s got a few injuries to nurse, if that tangled wreck in the desert is any indicator, and that air base,” said Peach.

Starlow’s eyes went wide at the mention of the Koopa air base. _Oh no! I’d forgotten about that!_ _That’s really something I got to look in to._

“Starlow?”  
“Hm? Oh! Sorry again, I just remembered that’s why Bowser barged in to that meeting two days ago. I’ll be going now, Princess!” The Star Sprite floated up and away towards the desert, turning with a beaming smile and calling out one last time, “Yello-goodbye!” Standing on the terrace, the Princess waved back to Starlow.

 _They have to pull through_ , she thought to herself. _The Kingdom needs them. I need them._ She looked down lovingly over the fair streets of Toad Town, its denizens going about their mostly tranquil lives. _These are my people, and I_ _know them_ _like none other_ _. They_ _are not warriors_ _or conquerors_ _._ _They are makers, not destroyers._ _They are_ _a_ _kind and_ _generous_ _folk_ _at heart, and that makes_ _them all the more worth protecting. They thrive in peace. I pray… I hope…_ She looked up for the unseen stars. _I wish that Mario and Luigi can keep this_ _world_ _safe. For everyone._ A single star twinkled in answer, alone in all the cloudless sky, glinting softly off the single tear running down the Princess’ face. She smiled, full of hope. Her wish had been heard.


	6. Omen and Reality

**Chapter VI: Omen and Reality**

“Why don’t you two go to sleep? I’ll keep watch for anything dangerous. Besides, Star Sprites don’t need sleep. I can think about this problem a bit more,” said Starlow.

“Okay!” said the two brothers. It was almost midnight, the crescent moon hanging over the small oasis, the now darkened sky filled with stars, a bright blue comet overhead. The two plumbers and the Star Sprite had spent all their time since sundown together tangling with the most difficult question involving the two attacks: _cui bono_? Thus far, their pondering had returned nothing of use. As the two plumbers laid down at their chosen places, and began trying to get some shut-eye, Starlow kept thinking and thinking to herself. _None of the other kingdoms and nations on this world could possibly benefit from seeing these two countries fight in earnest._ _Could there be foes out for revenge? No._ _The Shadow Queen is sealed deep beneath Rogueport, the X-Nauts were disbanded, Tatanga_ _has_ _been game-overed for years,_ _Fawful was literally thrown from Bowser’s Castle,_ _Dimentio, Cackletta, and Smithy were each destroyed, Count Bleck turned from his destructive plans and is gone, K. Rool lacks the subtlety_ _to pull this off_ _, and the Shroobs_ _have been confirmed extinct for decades_ _. Who am I missing?_

Starlow sighed in frustration. _There is no one! What’s going on? Why’s this going on? It can’t be random chance! If it’s not random, then someone is moving the pieces. Someone is the mover and shaker. But who? Urgh, I should probably meditate on it. A fresh perspective might do everyone some good in the morning._ And with that, Starlow floated up to the top of the lone tree in the tiny oasis, settling in one of the branches of the palm tree. And there, she relaxed, closing her eyes, letting memories, dreams, hopes, and fears course through her mind. After a few minutes, she looked up again, sighting the blue comet soaring overhead. _I swear something big happens whenever a comet goes by. It happened when Bowser stole the Star Rod, when Blumiere attempted to end the universe, when Smithy seized Bowser’s Castle… It’s like… an omen. The question remains, is it good, or ill?_ Starlow let the thought simmer in her head, along with the confusion at recent events, processing information through her mind. And she entered a meditative trance.

Her meditation lasted only a few hours, by which point it was the crack of dawn. Then, it hit her. _Everyone involved should put their heads together. Maybe we could even persuade Bowser to see that as well. I just hope he won’t go insane when he sees us. I should wake them up soon._ Starlow looked up again. The comet was still in the sky. In fact, it barely seemed to have moved since last she saw it. She whispered to herself, “Whatever’s going on, it’s big. I can feel it.”

After a few more impatient minutes, she decided to wake the plumbers. “Mario! Luigi! Get up, you two! We got a bit of a journey ahead of us, back to Peach’s Castle!” Luigi jumped when Starlow called his name, looking around him for a moment, as if he had forgotten where he was, and then he collected himself.

“Oh… you scared me, Starlow.What-what time is it?” Looking at the still snoozing Mario, Starlow replied rather curtly.

“Time you two got up. Mario! Mario! Get up! We got to go back to the castle!” Nothing from him. Thinking briefly, she switched tactics to rouse him. “Princess Peach said she’d bake you a _big_ cake for when you got back!” It worked.

“Huh?! Mamma mia! Whatsa goin’ on here? Let’sa get goin!” Mario jumped up as if staying any further would endanger his life.

“Woah, bro! Starlow just said that to—” Luigi began. Starlow directed a serious glare at him. Luigi, making eye contact with the Star Sprite, gulped and resumed, rather quietly, “… b-because she f-forgot t-to, um, mention it yesterday and a-all.” Starlow’s glare vanished once Luigi altered his statement to appease her.

“Oh, well that’s ok, bro. We got nothin’ better to do here, anyway. Mamma mia, it’s really early, isn’t it? Earlier we go, sooner we got home! Woohoo!” And with a jump, Mario was off! Luigi and Starlow exchanged glances. Luigi gave a nervous shrug, and then followed the footsteps of his older brother. Starlow smiled as the two brothers went off. _I think I scared Luigi._ _Ah, well, I guess I’m neither the worst thing to scare him, or the first._ Starlow cast one last look up at the sky, at the fading starlight, and at the great comet, then turned to catch up to the Bros.

“WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?! _WHY THE HECK IS THIS_?!” roared Bowser. There he stood, dumbfounded, mere yards from his towering fortress. The castle looked like it had been bombarded for weeks on end. Tumbled towers, blasted walls, and all the works. A great neon sign decorated the mostly ruined castle. _Fawful Theater._ The Koopa King turned to his speechless guards, and then to his three oldest sons, two of whom peeped over a nearby rock to answer him. Ludwig, shortish, blue hair, a single fang on the middle of his upper jaw, responded first.

“Well, Father, it is indeed a lengthy story. Seeing as we have little better to do at this moment, before we lay down any future plans, I venture that we tell the story in full. It began when this Fawful’s automatons and other minions start laying sie—”

Roy, a burly, pink fellow, seeing his father confused by Ludwig’s eloquence, came to rescue. He adjusted his hot pink shades as he interrupted his oldest brother.

“Lud, can it, will ya? Lemme do da talkin’: dem swirly-eye weirdos start whooshin’ in and crappin’ up da place with lasers and zappers and all sortsa weird stuff, and den we’s tryna get the heck outta dere, making sure the young’uns are spick and span, but den we gets separated. Dat’s why we’re out here, and your castle’s been all Fawful-ed.” Roy paused from annoyance. “Will you getchya crud togeder, Lem?! I hate it when you cry!” He elbowed the tiny, still crying Lemmy. The shortest koopaling, rainbow mohawk all a mess, was sobbing like a child into his yellow circus ball. “Oh, yeah, and Lem’s been inconsole… inconsta… incapacit—”

“Inconsolable, brother. Inconsolable. Much to our chagrin, as you can imagine, father. He’s the next oldest after me, I really wish he would act his age. Also, Father, we had the ill fortune to have been separated from our wands, as well. We’ve been out here with neither recourse or plan for approximately nine hours, thirty-five minutes, and twenty-four sec—”

“Will you two brats put a sock in it for once? Can’t you see I’ve lost my castle?!” barked Bowser. He strode over to Lemmy, who was just starting to get a grip on himself. Lemmy looked up, noticing his father for the first time, as he looked, blearily, into the eyes of the King. Lemmy’s demeanor flipped like a light switch.

“Dad? _King Dad?!_ OhmyStarsohmyStarsohmyStarsohmyStars! King Dad’s back! Now that Fawful loser’s gonna get it! He’s so done! He’s as good as game-overed! He’s like Mario, except more dunzo!” If the road to Bowser’s castle had walls, Lemmy would have been bouncing off them. Rapidly. And with incredible joy. Lacking those, the ground had to suffice instead. The Elite Trio wisely suppressed laughter at the prince’s dancing spree, whereas his brothers fought to not strain their eyes from rolling them so much.

“There you are, heff, Your Gruesomeness, haff! I thought I was not coming back for a moment!” panted the wizard Kamek. He flew from the direction of the castle-turned-theater, astride his broom, looking beat up and worse for wear. Even his broom looked scorched. He hovered before his master, avoiding a now projectile Lemmy, who was still bouncing and dancing everywhere, laughing and cheering as if victory was already won.

“Kamek, the heck happened to you? You look like you just ate a knuckle sandwich,” growled Bowser. “This Fawful idiot just ordered a dozen from me. You can bet your shell on that.”

“Actually, Your Indignance, I did have a knuckle sandwich. Several, I’d say. The situation is dire, my liege. This ‘idiot’ was certainly smart enough to know how to vanquish your armies, seize your once impregnable castle, separate you from most of your spell-casting children, build an army of robots, both flying and on the ground, with which to conquer, _and_ to add insult to injury, brainwash the minions who survived the assault, all while your back was turned. He deserves as much respect as he does pain, if my opinion’s wanted. If you want further input on the next course of action, Your Reprehensibility, I suggest we prepare a way to retake the castle,” rattled the Magikoopa, dusting himself off. “Hopefully some minions escaped the castle or survived the fiasco in the desert.”

“Reprehensi-what? Never mind, never mind. I was gonna retake the castle anyway. Hm. This Fawful schmuck did all this, right after that attack on that base and whatever went down in the Sky Kingdom. I attacked the Mushroom Kingdom not twelve hours ago because I thought they were behind it, and because they kicked me around for asking. But they didn’t know anything about the attack. Who is this Fawful guy? Why does his name sound familiar? What does all this stuff mean?” asked Bowser, breaking from his mental norm by thinking. What was in the norm was that he spoke his mind.

Kamek already knew what to say in response. The pieces were all put together. The old wizard looked back to the captured fortress. “Simply put, Your Confusedness, Fawful wrote this drama, and we have followed his script to the nines.”


	7. Unconventional Plans

**C** **hapter VII:** **Unconventional** **Plans**

The journey across the desert was pleasantly quiet. There wasn’t far to go, so water was not an issue. Soon, Mario, Luigi, and Starlow had left the hot and barren sands behind, and now made their way over green pastures, budding farms, and peaceful towns. Each village had its streets lined with Toads, who rejoiced that the Mario Bros., heroes of the land, were passing through their humble town. Mario took these celebrations in stride, waving back and smiling to all who celebrated. Luigi did the same, albeit nervously. The happiness of all the Toads seemed to rub off on Starlow, who beamed brightly at them, chirping the occasional “Hello-yello!”

Ere long, the three companions found themselves in the great, well-decorated hall of Princess Peach Toadstool, enjoying some Royal Mushroom tea and one of Peach’s renowned cakes. The Mario brothers, meaning mostly Mario, recounted in full their deeds against Bowser in the desert.

“And then the Goomba captain starts running towards the wheel, but Luigi took him out with a red shell. The poor guy flew away so fast he broke the ship’s wheel and went out the window! The whole thing started to careen off towards another airship, and Luigi and me started trying to get to the top deck, but before we knew it, we’d crashed one airship into the other! It was a dogpile of airships! Those things are so _slow_!” Mario finished, rather amused with himself. The red plumber let the retelling sink in for a moment.

“My Stars, Mario, that’s quite the story,” said the Princess, after a pause. She sipped her tea. “It’s reminiscent of the other adventures you’ve been on. But I think we should move to more pressing issues. The Sky Kingdom problem.”

“Oh, yeah, that,” said Mario. It seemed he just remembered it.

“I’ve got an idea! Since I’m coming with, I thought that maybe I should come up with at least one, since I won’t be doing much stomping and hammering and stuff,” said Starlow. “It might not be the best idea, but… it might get us closer to solving the issue. I think we should team up with Bowser.”

The Bros. and the Princess looked at Starlow as if she had two heads with three eyes each.

“Think about it. There’s no way Bowser did any of this. He’s not that subtle or underhanded. Right?” asked the Star Sprite. The plumbers agreed with the assessment of their nemesis.

“Yeah, he is kinda straightforward about a lot of things,” said Luigi.

“Especially me and Mario,” said the Princess. Starlow continued.

“Since we can agree Bowser isn’t likely the perpetrator, there has to be someone else involved. But who is it, and what do they hope to gain from game-ending and causing a war? Because let’s face it: Bowser isn’t about to give up. His empire still has huge armies and what you two dealt with yesterday was only the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. He’ll be back, until someone admits they trashed that fort of his. Princess, I know I’m not supposed to get involved in your politics, but you may as well say that the Kingdom’s at war. But it all comes back to one question, with which I’ve been beating myself up for hours now: who did this? If we can get Bowser to care about that question too, maybe he can hold off his attack, and look into the bombing in his kingdom.”

“That’s the hard part, Starlow: getting Bowser to see anything beyond his own anger. I don’t think he’s ever been in a diplomatic mood for the last twenty-four years, if not longer. As a part-time resident of his castle, I would know,” said Peach.

“Yeah,” agreed Mario. “He’d have to have a reason to help us. Like when Count Bleck tried ending the universe, Bowser only joined us when he realized the Kingdom he wants to conquer was in danger.”

“Or when someone captured his castle. Remember Smithy’s Gang and all?” inserted Luigi.

“Yeah, bro. I think that was the first time Bowser ever cooperated with us. Starlow, I guess we _could_ ask him, but I wouldn’t expect anything to come of it. You saw how he blew up at the meeting about this Sky Kingdom business,” considered the red plumber.

“I think it’s worth a shot, Mario. The sooner we find out, the sooner we can kick the perpetrator’s butt!” said Starlow. “So what are we waiting for? We got a Bowser to catch!”

“Alrighty! Let’sa go!” cheered Mario, leaping up from his untouched tea and empty plate of cake.

“I’m coming with. I’ve been wanting to get out of this castle for a bit,” stated the Princess, almost out of the blue. “And I think you all could do with an extra pair of eyes on this case, anyway. I don’t doubt your abilities at all, but this is a really serious matter, and we should investigate it thoroughly before drawing conclusions. Besides, I think I might be able to prevent Bowser from exploding on sight when we find him.”

“You’re always welcome with us, Princess!” said Mario cheerily. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah!” replied the Princess, ensuring her teacup, saucer, and plate were stacked neatly on the table. “I just need to grab my parasol, then we can be on our way. Wait. Where are we going first? Are we going to Bowser’s Castle first, or Sky Kingdom? We’ll need to tell the Toad who owns the blimp. I think he just got back from Delfino.”  
“Princess, I think we should talk to Bowser first, and get that out of the way. With his resources, we can investigate this case more thoroughly,” said the Star Sprite.

“That’s a plan then, everyone. Let’sa go!” said Mario, leading his friends from the palace. Within the hour, the four companions were in the sky, flying towards the kingdom of darkness and volcanic waste that was Bowser’s domain.

“Your Recklessness, we need a more practical plan than that! A frontal assault? On your own castle? With what minions? What airships? What cannons? Your Brashness, I apologize this is foolish!” exclaimed Kamek anxiously, before his anxiety turned to anger. “Y-your Burliness, I only caution you to, well, caution. When I was a Magikoopa apprentice, your grandfather built this castle with repelling a siege in mind. And don’t get me started on Fawful, Your Impulsiveness. As I recall, he laid much of the ground work and provided assistance for Cackletta’s scheme to steal the Beanstar, all those years ago. I understand that you do not wish me or any minion to speak of that… incident, but in this case it is highly relevant. Koopa intelligence reported that Fawful vanished after a fight with the plumbers, sighted by some as being hurled from a high place in the castle. Fawful banks on your pride, Bowser. He is hoping you to do the expected. The conventional. He will use the conventional against you. He has thus far, dare I say.”

“Then what do you expect me to do, Kamek? If something won’t give on the first punch, punch, punch again,” retorted Bowser, rather exasperated.

“My liege, even you can only throw so many punches before you get tuckered out. I propose we do something unexpected. Out of the ordinary. To match our current circumstances. But what to do?”

“Hmmm… Well, minions? You’ve got brains. Use ‘em,” growled Bowser. Two of his three children (the third still a bouncing ball of joy) and his three Royal Guards began doing some serious thinking. Soon, this area was a forum of strategies.

“Find a King Bill cannon, or steal one. Blow the castle to bits.”

“Are you crazy, Corporal? This sounds like a task for the brave, the valiant, the resourceful, Sergeant Guy! I say we find some escaped minions to undermine the castle’s walls with!”

“Sergeant, s-sir, w-wouldn’t that d-do the s-same thing as attacking t-the castle? What i-if we try and f-flood the place with l-lava?”

“Dat stuff would bump off da minions in da whole castle; not sure dat’s what Pop’s goin’ for.”

“I am currently considering the fabrication of a device capable of emitting an electromagnetic pulse, to disable the robots Kamek had the misfortune of encountering. Does that sound feasible, Father?”

“Electrostag-what, son?”

“Never mind, then.”

“Dad? Dad? Dad? King Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! KING DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!.” Bowser felt a small hand firmly tugging at his own left hand, but the high-pitched, annoying voice came from his right. He looked right to face whoever had such audacity. Nothing. To the left? Lemmy, no longer flying around with ecstatic laughs.

“What is it, kid? Can’t you see I’m scheming? You know I don’t like it when blithering idiots interrupt my scheming. And how’d you do that with your voice, anyway. Kinda freaky,” rumbled Bowser. _What on earth could you want, kid? It’s not exactly the right time to ask for more candy, ya know,_ thought the King to himself.

“I was practicing ventriloquism before the castle got all trashed! But I got an idea! I got an idea! A really cool, super-never-gonna-see-it-coming-ever kinda idea! About how we can get your castle back!”

“Well, spit it out, son. We got nothing so far, so let’s hear it.”

Lemmy, beaming innocently up into Bowser’s own red eyes, gave quick reply. “Those annoying mustache dudes get into your castle so many times! We shouldhave them to do it again!”

At that suggestion, Bowser’s eyes went wide, his fists clenching and shaking by his sides. The Guards, Kamek, and the other two Koopalings knew what was about to unfold. Bowser whispered furiously through gritted teeth. “Why you little… You want me. To ask Mario. To help me get my castle back. _Again?_ ” The burly Koopa stomped forward, barely restraining his emotions, before he was interrupted. His clown of a son regarded him with a bright smile.

“Your Lividness! Please! He didn’t know what he was asking! Don’t do anything rash, milord! Your minions have already been beat up enough!” cried Kamek, imposing himself between Bowser and the blissfully oblivious Lemmy, who only blinked a few times.

“Kamek. Stand. Aside. Now.” The King picked up Kamek by the back collar, tossing the wizard aside. Nothing now stood between the Koopaling performer and his imminent fate. Ludwig and Roy grimaced and ducked behind a rock. Pvt. Goomp let out a worried “Eek!” as Sgt. Guy pulled him behind another rock alongside the Corporal. They all knew the kid was gonna get it. Big time.

“You, son. Are gonna get. The biggest noogie of your life! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!” laughed Bowser, breaking into broad smile. “Watch how your Grade-A, 100% prime cut final boss of a dad gives noogies!” He quickly scooped the boy up and laughingly carried out the noogie. Lemmy, who had joyfully gasped at the mention of said noogie, burst into peals of blissful laughter upon his father’s transition to the tickle phase. Before long, Bowser moved forward to Operation Prolonged Hug.

“Your… Your Cheerfulness? You’re not angry with the boy? You _actually_ like his half-cooked idea?” asked Kamek, tossing aside the barely begun rough draft of a eulogy.

“Pops? Red ‘Stache knock a screw loose or somethin’? You’re actually gonna listen to dis lame-brain?” whined Roy. Ludwig groaned in annoyance. “Ugh, Father, now I have to rename this back to ‘Requiem for a _Plumber_ ,’ _AGAIN_! If you’re about to engage in fisticuffs, at least be straightforward about it.”

“YES, Kamek, YES, Roy, and TOO BAD, Ludwig! Lemmy’s idea just got my castle back! His plan is so absolutely stupid! I don’t care if he flipped a coin to see which brain cell did the thinking, it’s stupidly genius! Kamek, if this Fawful geek’s as smart as you said, he won’t see this plan coming in a hundred years! This’s got to be Lem’s first flash of genius in all his life! How much of a schlemiel do you have to be to have your worst enemy find a secret entrance into your house for you so you can get it back from a nerdy squatter?! Who would expect you to do that?! Gwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Man, this kid surprises me sometimes!” He paused, realizing that most of the present minions were still cowering behind some great rocks. “Hey? Where are you wimps? Get your ugly mugs back here, we’re gonna go fishing for plumbers! Fall in! Move out! We’re gonna nab Peachy-pie from her castle!”

“Father? What does capturing the Princess have to do with finding the two mustachioed marauders, per the ‘plan’ of brother mine?” Ludwig did air-quotes when mentioning Lemmy’s scheme.

“Simple, Ludwig! If I kidnap Peachy-poo, the plumbers will follow, hook, line, and sinker!”


	8. Search among the Waste

**C** **hapter VIII:** **Search among the** **Waste**

Heroic Mario, his brother Luigi, the fair Princess Peach, and the energetic Star Sprite Starlow stood, unspeaking, looking across a vast crevasse that kept two snow-capped mountains apart, the last natural obstacle to the realm of Bowser, the dreaded Koopa King. A warm breeze, bearing upon it the heat of many volcanoes and lava pools, blew in their faces from the direction of their destination. The crevasse itself was too far to span in a single jump, but its bottom was only a thin and distant orange line of magma.

“How will we get across? I don’t think jumping is an option. Taking a dip in that lava down there won’t get us any closer to Bowser,” said Starlow, taking a peek at what lay below in the ravine.

“Luigi and me could spin across,” said Mario.

“I think we all could spin across, easy. Just let me do something really quick,” said the Princess. Putting a hand on the great sapphire brooch that adorned her chest, and extending the other forward, across the ravine, Peach closed her eyes and muttered something. The great blue gem glowed dimly for a split second, and a howl of wind sounded nearby. Looking away from Peach, her other companions were seized by amazement at the appearance of a whirlwind in the middle of the great chasm. Peach relaxed, lowering her arms, breathing heavily for a few seconds, as if the act had taxed some of her strength. “There… now we can cross. We should move quickly, it’ll only last a few minutes,” said Peach. Mario hopped onto Luigi’s shoulders, and as Luigi jumped, the two spun forward into the whirlwind, spinning faster, then shooting out of it, and landing safely on the other side of the ravine. Starlow easily floated across the ravine, and lastly, the Princess hopped up, using her parasol to slow her descent, entering the whirlwind, and floating gracefully across to the other side of the chasm. As her feet hit the ground, the whirlwind dissipated with a _whoosh_.

“Mamma mia, Peach, how in Stars did you do that?” said Mario, positively amazed at the Princess’ solution to their problem.

“Yeah, Princess! That was so cool and all! How does that sort of magic work?” cried Luigi. Starlow nodded in agreement with the Bros. Finally catching her breath, the Princess inhaled deeply and said, rather stoically, “It’s complicated. We should keep moving. I’ll explain as we walk.” And off she went, plumbers and Star Sprite in tow.

“That was a bit of Aeromancy, the magic that controls air, wind, weather, and even the sky itself. This isn’t the first time you’ve seen aeromancy if you’ve been to the Sky Kingdom. That whole kingdom is the crowning achievement of aeromancy. It’s history is long and very boring, so I’ll skip that for now. I learned a few bits and pieces of that magic when I was a young girl being tutored. Casting spells of that sort is… rather taxing, so I won’t be conjuring whirlwinds like that left and right. That, I think, is explanation enough for the moment. Now we just need to get to Bowser’s Castle.”

“Wow,” whispered Mario. _Mamma mia, how much magic does Peach know? I mean, she’s got healing magic, protection spells, wish power, and now aero-whatever-you-call-it spells?_ _I swear s_ _he’s more powerful than she would like anyone to believe. I like that about her. She’s kind and approachable, but you don’t mess with her. If she really pushed herself, she would be throwing Bowser away like weekly garbage,_ _like she did at the meeting_ _. I_ _would be out of work_ _if she started doing that._ He decided to speak up again, remembering the geography of this region. “There’s an overlook a few minutes’ walk ahead. It’ll give us a great view of the whole area for miles around. Luigi and I can point out our route from there, if you want. We’ve been this way so many times, we know where to go.”

“Yeah, might be a good idea if we get separated and all. This place is a geographical mess,” said Luigi.

“I only really see this land from the air, so I’ll defer to your judgment about where to go on the ground,” said Peach.

“I’m with the Princess on this one. I’ve never been here, and so much the better for it. You two take the lead,” said Starlow, slowing down to let the two plumbers get ahead of her. As the companions trekked further into the volcanic wasteland, the air soon grew uncomfortably hot and dry. Before long, thankfully, they found the ridge that Mario had described, and now looked outwards, across the barren kingdom, a twisted battlefield, its hilly geography disrupted by shell craters, fitting pockmarks for an unseemly land. Rivers of lava flowed in many directions, bleeding outward from the sides of tall volcanoes. Many miles away, rising from the side of a great mountain, was Bowser’s Castle, where, as the people of the Mushroom Kingdom said, all joy went to die. Built from cruel gray stone, the towers and bastions of the castle rose, as if to reach for the sky like a hand of callous stone. But something looked off.

“Why does it look like the castle look so destroyed and all?” asked Luigi.

“What’s that neon sign there say?” said Mario, squinting to get a better look at the sign.

“F… Fawful Theater?” said Princess Peach, aghast. The two brothers looked at the Princess with horror in their faces.

“Fawful?!” they both gasped.

“But… we threw him out of Bowser’s Castle, six years ago, was it now?” said Mario.

“Yeah! Did he survive that and all? But how?” wondered Luigi. For the Princess, it all clicked.

“I think… we just solved the mystery of those acts of terror several weeks ago. I think Fawful was behind it. Think about it! He somehow gets an airship, flying the Koopa Troop flag to attack Sky Kingdom, and… oh my Stars! Remember the picture that Bowser had his wizard put in the projector? The one with the ‘Toad’ delivering a package to the base? He was wearing bizarre glasses! What if that was Fawful himself?” she said, hastily.

“That makes sense!” replied Starlow. “We answered the _cui bono_ question! Fawful framed two kingdoms for underhanded terrorist strikes made on each other, getting them to fight each other long enough for him to seize one of their castles while they’re distracted! If we weren’t talking about lives being ended, I think I might be impressed by his schemes.”

“Mamma mia…” sighed Luigi, wide-eyed at this discovery. Mario glared across the war-torn kingdom, almost boring holes into the neon sign that now adorned Bowser’s Castle, his fists clenched at his sides. Turning back to the others, his usually friendly but neutral expression replaced by one of anger, Mario spoke through gritted teeth. “This guy is finished. He’s gonna answer for all the games he’s ended. Princess, I swear he will, even if I have to take him apart bit by bit to do so.”

Princess Peach, wide-eyed at Mario’s black mood, nodded rather anxiously. To her, this was a whole new side of him she had just seen: righteous anger. _Dear Stars, that was scary. I can’t imagine how he feels when Bowser kidnaps me. But when Mario goes after a wrongdoer, I don’t think there’s a safe place on this world that wrongdoer can hide. Mario and Luigi will get Fawful eventually. They’ll pull through. They have to._ Starlow speaking pulled the Princess out of her thoughts. The Star Sprite’s tone was concerningly hushed.

“Guys! Shh! Do you hear that?”

“What is it?” asked Mario, whispering as his anger seemingly dissapated.

“I hear people talking, down below us!” whispered Starlow.

“We should get down and all,” whispered Luigi. Taking his suggestion, the adventurers went prone, crawling forward to the end of the overlook, which dropped a fair distance down. At the bottom of the drop, sitting within a rough ring of large rocks, were four figures of various shapes and sizes, talking rather quietly to each other. Princess Peach recognized them at once. She quickly pulled back her companions from the ledge.

“Stars, it’s the Koopalings!” she whispered.


	9. Surprise!

**Chapter IX:** **Surprise!**

“Ugh! When’s Larry gonna be back? He was going scouting or something, right? Was he gonna get us some food, or some water, or see if there’s any minions out? Is he doing okay? Is he—”

“Firstly, Morton, calm down,” said Wendy, vainly adjusting her large pink bow with white polka dots as she reclined against a large rock. “Secondly, Larry went to see if there were any minions that weren’t brainwashed by that Fawful guy. Larry’s gonna be fine. He’s so shy and quiet all the time, nothing could hear him. But… I wish King Dad were here. He’d know just what to do.” She sighed rather loudly, whipping a mirror out of her shell to ensure that she looked perfect.

“Don’t worry Wen, Papa’ll be back soon!” said Junior, the youngest of the bunch. “He went with some airships to show those stupid plumbers who’s boss! He’ll be back soon enough to show this Fawful loser who’s boss too! Then he’ll bring Mama Peach back to stay forever!”

Junior’s optimism was interrupted by some unnerving chuckles of his sibling, Iggy. “Guys! Guys! I’ve done it! I’ve made… well, something!” The green-haired geek turned back to his siblings, setting aside his welding tools and pulling up the welding mask. He displayed proudly what was perhaps the most aesthetically painful invention they had ever seen, a tangled mess of wires, circuit boards, a small screen display, a makeshift keyboard, and a plastic cup with a wire attached to it. Wendy visibly winced as soon as she clapped eyes on it.

“What the heck is that, Iggy? It looks you got pasta and then killed it. And what’s that thing there for?” said Wendy, her voice laced with disdain as she pointed at the cup.

“Oh, this little sweetie? The voice input. Rather makeshift, I know, but I’m not the kind to keep an actual microphone in my shell, so this’ll have to suffice.

“What does it do, Iggs?” asked Junior, wonder in his eyes.

“Well, now comes the moment of truth. If it works and my guesswork is correct, we got a way to listen in on Fawful’s whole robot network, assuming he has one. We would know every command those robots get, and we might even be able to give out a few commands of our own too, for laughs and giggles of course. If not… well… I suppose I should flip a coin less when I wire up some inventions.”

“Wait, wait, wait! You mean you built this thing by flipping a coin every time you add a wire? That’s insane! What if it zaps us all?!” exclaimed Morton, the largest and burliest of those present.

“Well, yes, but I mean I don’t have to know-how to say which color wire goes where. So I wanted to guess in least biased way possible.” explained Iggy as he removed the face shield. “If it electrocutes all of us, well, it’ll just be the last time I do trial-and-error circuitry.” The others, who had been concerned about their alleged fate if Iggy’s machine failed, sighed in relief. Wendy wasn’t happy.

“Now’s not the time for your stupid jokes, Iggy! If you do that again, I’ll tell—”

“You’ll tell King Dad?” hissed Iggy.

“Yes, and—”

“Hey, guys! Do you hear that?” said Morton, with a lowered voice.

“Hear what?” asked Junior.

“Up there.” whispered Morton, this terse statement a break from his usual run-on sentences. The other Koopalings went quiet. They heard from above a voice that was firm, but kind, speaking at a modest volume. “Remember that picturethat Bowser had his wizard put in the projector? The one with the ‘Toad’ delivering a package to the base? He was wearing bizarre glasses! What if that was Fawful himself?” The four Koopalings below looked at each other, wide-eyed as they recognized the voice that spoke above them.

“Mama Peach!” they all whispered in unison, equal parts surprised and joyful. They all loved Peach, for her gentle kindness, and deep understanding of all their problems, which they often sought her counsel to solve. Their father, while humorous company, very much lacked the emotional intelligence the Princess possessed in spades. A chirping sound overhead stopped their joy in its tracks, as a tiny flying saucer-like object whizzed overhead. Its top was green, with two crazed blue eyes looking right at the Koopalings.

“Uh oh,” breathed Wendy. The Fawfulcopter stopped, looking right at them. They’d seen these in droves when the castle was attacked. It turned around, and left, whirring away in the distance..

Junior spoke up first. “We should move. I don’t wanna be around here when that thing comes back.”

“Yeah, it might bring compan—” started Iggy. As he spoke, the great boulders that they trusted to conceal them were smashed apart by three massive robots of a yellowish-green, with dark gray wrecking ball hands, spherical torsos, and small heads with beady blue eyes shaped like glasses, and from the top of their heads, short antennae rose, topped with a tiny yellow sphere. Mechawfuls. Their sudden appearance sent Wendy and Morton flying face first onto the ground. Iggy and Junior had been resting against the rock face, so the Mechawfuls’ appearance startled them but didn’t send them crashing backwards. Iggy leapt up, imposing his lanky Koopa frame between the intruders and his fragile invention, backed up by Junior, who in a rage gave the lead Mechawful a small fireball to the face. The mote of flame crashed into the eyes of its target, and it stood still for a moment, vision obscured by the smoke, and then it thundered forward, raising a great wrecking ball arm to crash down on the two defiant Koopalings.

A large ring, golden in hue and glowing, smashed into its face, denting some of the green metal, before zooming back into Wendy’s hand, the Koopaling’s cold blue eyes glaring furiously into the Mechawful’s soulless blues. A second Mechawful surged right behind her, ready to crush her with a blow of steel, but not before Morton, with an angry shout, charged and leapt onto the back of the second Mechawful, almost upsetting its balance and forcing it to totter backwards. The burly, talkative Koopaling began smashing his clenched grey-brown fists into the robot’s head, angrily shouting the whole time. The Mechawful began madly flailing about, silently struggling to remove Morton.

Wendy’s attack gave Iggy and Junior enough time to slip a few yards away. “Junior! Could ya cover me for a minute?” cried Iggy, gently laying his technological eyesore onto the ground. “I gotta get this baby started so we can mess these metal losers up… well, maybe!”

“Sure, Iggs! I been spoiling for a tussle for several _weeks!_ ” replied Junior, ducking into his shell to hurl himself at the third Mechawful, who was making for the two of them.

Wendy barely ducked into her own shell to dash away from the lead Mechawful, whose bludgeoning arm slammed into the ground mere moments afterwards. Her arm popped out to hurl another magic ring at the metal minion. It went a bit wide, grazing the robot’s chassis, ricocheting off of the cliff side, and back into her hand. The Mechawful swung, its wrecking ball arm at ground level. Wendy was a little too slow this time. The blow knocked the wind her, rolling her several yards away. The robot, stomping quickly, closed in for the kill.

Morton was doing a bit better, having made one of his target’s blue eyes go dark. The head detached with a _pop_ sound, a small rocket exhaust at the bottom of it. The Mechawful went still. The exhaust fumes went into Morton’s eyes, however, and instinctively he put his hands to his face to rub his eyes. Such a mistake led to his harsh landing on the ground. The Mechawful’s head rejoined with its gigantic body, and it stalked, both bludgeoning hands upraised, towards the prone figure of Morton, who was still rubbing his eyes and muttering “Ow, ow, ow…”

Bowser Jr. sought to tackle the third Mechawful by crashing into its legs with his sturdy shell, but a counterattack, a firm kick, proved that doing so would be much more difficult, and in a daze Junior popped out of his shell, seeing stars and hearing tweety-birds as he lay up against the sheer cliff, groaning and wavering about in some degree of pain. Iggy, seeing this, abandoned his invention to get between Junior and the advancing Mechawful. The robot began to spin, horizontally, from the torso up, its arms a propeller of crushing pain.

As all three Mechawfuls closed in on their stricken prey, a pink aura surrounded them. Iggy, the only person still conscious, wondered at what that was. The world blurred by as the Mechawful caught Iggy in a mighty swing, sending him flying away and landing on the ground with a thud. His vision became distorted, and as Iggy numbly landed on the ground, his head pounding, two voices, so familiar to his ears, broke through the noise of his rapid pulse, yelling in unison, loud and clear, “LET’S-A GO!”

A blur of red smashed into the head of the lead Mechawful, who was about to bring its steel fist down on the unconscious Wendy. The robot froze, its head forced down into its body, as the red blur rapidly leapt away. The chassis crackled with electricity, and sparks flew from where the head once was. A green blur landed on the ground, turning to face the second Mechawful as it stood over Morton, and then the green figure cried “THUNDER,” rolling the R magnificently. The figure extended both hands, and the world flashed white for an instance. The second robot froze, trembling as lightning coursed through its body, and then toppled backwards onto the ground.

The last Mechawful soon engulfed all of Iggy’s field of view, but not before it too froze, leaning backwards, its arms flailing, the sound of mechanical parts being torn and ruptured. A few seconds of twitching, and it leaned forward, limply, the light in its eyes extinguished. Something blue and yellow hopped lightly onto the ground from behind the defeated robot, tossing something from its hands, likely some circuitry, and with a gentle push forced the Mechawful onto the ground, causing a loud metallic clatter as electricity danced along its chassis. A third voice spoke up as it pushed, the figure’s head focused on the robot. “No touching my sibs, chrome dome! Not cool, man.” The figure turned to Iggy and started walking towards him, at which point the world went black, and the bespectacled prince saw and heard no more.


	10. An Unusual Meeting

**Chapter X: An Unusual Meeting**

“Iggs…”

“Iggy, my man!”

“Iggy! Wake up, dude!”

Iggy groaned, his eyes fluttering open as he came to. As his vision cleared, save for white cracks going across his field of view, he gazed upwards into a concerned pair of sapphire blue eyes: Larry’s. A small hand was gently shaking him awake. Iggy found himself able to speak.

“Huh? Wha… what happened…” he said.

“Iggs! Are you alright, dude? You guys got jumped by somerobots losers, but we took care of ‘em, man. Here, lemme sit you up, you don’t look too fab,” said Larry, gently helping his bespectacled sibling sit up, resting against the cliff.

“Who… Who’s ‘we?’” groaned Iggy.

“This is way out, my dude. I took out the trash can going for you. It had a loose plate on its back. Mama Peach is here, and she’s packin’ Mario Bros, of all people, and some Star chick. And then- oh, Iggy, your glasses are totaled, dude!” whispered Larry, as if the very rocks were eavesdropping. The mention of the plumbers made Iggy sit up quickly.

“ _The_ Mario Bros? Wha… What do they want here? Whadda they want with us? We haven’t saved Mama recently…”

“I don’t know yet, I was hoping the others would wake up ‘cause… ‘cause…” Larry’s whisper trailed off, seemingly anxious out of the blue.

“’Cause what?”

“I’m really freaked out, Iggs. I always get nervous before I deal with Mario and Green ‘Stache, I guess that’s just because I’m so… shy. I don’t wanna ask ‘em. They might get angry…” Larry almost whimpered as he finished. Iggy rubbed his head, which still hurt, before shaking his head violently, in hopes of bringing himself out of this sluggish state. He looked around, first towards a broken stone, large enough for several to sit on. There, as Larry said, sat Peach, who was making sure Morton was alright. The musclebound Koopaling was squeezing his eyes tightly shut and rubbing them, tears running from them, but he wasn’t crying or sobbing, not even talking. He seemed fairly irritated, however. Mario and Green ‘Stache were trying to get Wendy and Junior to come to, respectively. Mario was met with little success, whereas Luigi had managed to get a stir out of Junior. The Koopa King’s heir started to groan as he rubbed his head.

“Owie… My head hurts… I feel like… I got run over by a Clown Car” Junior whined. “Ow…”

“It’ll be okay,” said Luigi, patting the kid on the shoulder. “Princess! Bro! Junior’s come to!”

“Good! Mario, how’s Wendy?” asked the Princess, a good deal of concern in her voice.

“She’s still out cold,” said Mario. Junior let out a gasp and almost pushed Luigi to the ground.

“What are you doing here, Mario Bros?!” he shouted, pointing at both plumbers. “We didn’t rescue Mama this time from her castle! She’s… over there?” He trailed off as he caught sight of Peach for the first time.“M-mama? Mama Peach?” He spent the next few seconds trying to process all that had happened so far. The Princess smiled at him, and nodded in response. Starlow, who sat down next to Peach, looked up at the Princess, visibly confused.

“Why do you encourage this? You’re not their actual mom. Don’t give them false hope…”

“I know I shouldn’t. But… I care too much. Bowser can be cruel and heartless most of the time, but his kids are still children, as crazy as they are. They need love and affection like anyone else. They weren’t born mean. No one is. They deserve a chance to be raised by someone who can love them and cherish them.”

“Love them? Bowser’s kids? Do you hear yourself, Princess? Next thing you know you’ll be begging Bowser to kidnap you!” whispered Starlow, her confusion mounting. Before she could continue, Junior dashed over to the Princess to sit next to her, almost sitting on Starlow.

“Hey! Careful!” yelled the Star Sprite, rather indignant that she had been treated as nonexistent. She floated up out of the prince’s way.

“Woah, Mama! Your plush toy talks and floats?!” said Junior, with genuine amazement in his voice, looking up at now furious Starlow and trying to grab her from the air. The Star Sprite had turned beet red in the face, dodging Junior’s attempts to snatch her from the air.

“I AM _NOT_ A PLUSH TOY! I’M A STAR SPRITE! HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT I-”

“Starlow… please,” said Princess Peach, looking at Starlow pleadingly. “Let me take care of this.” She turned to the very confused prince, gently making him lower his hands. “Junior, this is Starlow. She’s a friend of mine, not a plush toy, alright? Now I want you to say that you’re sorry for making her mad, alright?”

“But _Mama_! I’m a prince! Why do I have to say sorry? Dad never says sorry for anything!” protested Junior.

“That is so, but that doesn’t change the fact that you should say sorry. If you do something wrong, you should say that you’re sorry, it doesn’t matter who you are or who you hurt is. Starlow is a person, and she deserves to be treated nicely. Would you like it if someone thought you were a plushy and tried to grab you?” she asked. Junior, defeated on this verbal battlefield, conceded with a reluctant “… No…” before turning with a pout to Starlow and quietly mumbling “I’m sorry.”

Starlow’s anger melted away at the little Koopa’s apology. _They_ _respect the Princess a lot, and she really cares for them. I don’t know about Bowser, but maybe there’s hope for these children. Maybe they won’t be as destructive as their father. I should give them the chance._ She floated down to Junior, saying “It’s okay. You’ve never seen a Star Sprite before, I bet.”

“A Star what?” asked Junior, his deepened confusion made clear by his scratching his head.  
“I rest my case,” said Starlow, rather amused by all this. “But yeah, I’m Starlow. Call me Starlow! Hello-yello!” She joyfully spun in the air, smiling brightly. “You must be Bowser Jr.!”

“Yeah! How’d you know?” Before Starlow could answer, another question was put forward.

“Alright. Hold up. What are you all doing here in Dark Land anyway?” said Iggy, who had finally gotten his bearings. Wendy started to move around as well, finally coming to.

“Yeah! What’s cookin’?” asked Larry. “You two bozos usually come to Dark Land to kidnap Mama away, but we didn’t rescue her this time. What’s going on?” He pointed at Mario and Luigi as he spoke.

“Well, firstly Larry, we shouldn’t call anyone ‘bozos,’ and secondly, we’re looking for your father because we need his help with something. Have you all heard of the game-endings in Sky Kingdom?” said Peach. Larry rolled his eyes when the Princess admonished him for his name calling, before answering with a rather rebellious “No. Why would someone waste their time there?”

“What’s this about Sky Kingdom?” said Wendy, rather groggily.

“Game endings in Sky Kingdom? That’s news to me!” remarked Iggy, scratching the back of his head. “All I know is about what happened at Koopfellow Air Base.”

“Yeah, tell us more, Mama. What happened?” said Junior curiously.

“Well,” said Peach, pulling a small envelope from her sleeve. “I’m glad I brought the photos of what happened, because I wanted your father to get a better look at them.” She began showing them the photographs of the incident that had been taken. “You see, an airship flew by, dropping bombs all over a town in the Kingdom. Almost sixty games were ended. That building used to be a museum. In this one, that was someone’s house. And look at the flag of the airship in this last photograph.”

The Koopalings, the now recovered Morton included, huddled around the Princess, looking at the photographs, awed by the destruction.

“Wowie… ”

“That’s rough, man…”

“Omigosh…”

“Mama… that’s… wow…”

“The Koopa Troop’s flag? But we never…”

“We wanted to look into what caused those attacks, and why. We think they were caused by the same person: Fawful,” the Princess said, gesturing towards the neon sign in the distance. Morton began some rambling, as was his wont.

“Who’s this Fawful dude? And what does he want? And why would he take King Dad’s castle? And why would he make it a theater? I mean, the castle never had a theater before, but still, why? Man, I wish King Dad would put a theater in the castle, I really wanna watch “Goom Wars: The Shell Awakens,” and—” After that much time of letting Morton babble, Wendy couldn’t take any more.

“UGH! Morton! Please! My head already hurts from getting kicked around by those robot things. You’re not helping.”

“Sorry, sis. It’s just that—” started the dark Koopaling.

“ _Morton!_ I swear that you and the boys will all have beards and I’ll be all old and wrinkly by the time you’re done! I don’t wanna think about that, you big burly bum,” scolded Wendy.

“Alright! Alright! I’ll… I’ll shut up, you stupid, fat, ugly—”

“BOTH OF YOU! STOP! I’ve never yelled at you before, but please! Stop arguing!” cried the Princess, standing as her growing frustration got the better of her. “Infighting’s not what we need right now! We need to focus on finding your Dad, alright? Please, things… things are bad enough as it is.” Peach trailed off. “We should get going from here. Fawful and his robots will be back here in force, I’m certain of it. Oh, and since Mario, Luigi, Starlow and I saved you, I want you five to come with us in return.” Fortunately for them, Mario and Luigi had decided to get some shut-eye, whereas Starlow looked at Peach as if she had three and a half heads, but decided to say nothing.

“Yeah, Mama’s right. Those bots are gonna be back for vengeance. Actually, haha, I could use some of the, uh, spare parts to spruce up my lil’ friendo right here,” said Iggy, petting his fragile invention like a tame Chain Chomp. The scrawny geek of Bowser’s family went at once to salvaging anything he could from one of the broken robots. Soon, he had some broken circuit boards, crossed wires, and any electric parts that he thought looked cool, which he quickly stowed away in his shell, along with his precious creation, before inspiration struck. “Hey, wait a minute. I might be able to use some of the armor scraps to make a case for this thing. Hey Morton! Plumber dudes! Gimme a hand with this armor, will ya? I wanna make a case for my invention-thingamabob and I need to get some of this stuff before we go, teehee!” Morton, deciding that helping a sibling in ‘need’ would garner Mama’s approval, began with his brute strength removing large metal plates from the fallen automatons and tossing them in Iggy’s direction. He then took notice of the two snoozing plumbers.

“Hey! Hey you! Plumber dudes that screw up all of King Dad’s plans and take out tons of minions and do a number on us Koopalings and then takes Mama Peach away only to do it all over again! Wake up! We gotta go to… well, somewhere.” Morton prodded Mario, then Luigi with a pipe section of the robot he had torn off.

“Hmm? What? What’sa goin’ on here?” gasped Mario, startled. Luigi groaned, and slowly stirred.

“Huh?”

“You two oughta listen more. Mama Peach wants to move out, ‘cause the robots might be back and cause trouble and kick all of us around and—”

“We got it, uh, Morton’s your name, right?” asked Mario, saving everyone in earshot from one of Morton’s dreaded earfuls.

“Yeah. Morton Junior, actually. Named after my grandfather, my great-granduncle twice-removed, my thirteenth cousin, my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather who was thrice removed because he wouldn’t do his schoolwork, and my great—” Before Morton’s unwittingauditory torture could continue, Luigi saved the day.

“Well, nice to meet you, Morton. I gotta tell you, I never expected to be talking with any of Bowser’s kids like we were friends. In fact, I don’t think I’d’ve seen any of this stuff coming in a thousand years.” Before Morton could respond, the group’s itinerary was made known to them.

“We’re going to make our way to the Sky Kingdom, since that’s the quickest way to get to my castle. We’ll go there, and get a blimp back to the Grasslands,” declared the Princess.

“Dude, why do we have to like go to your prissy princess castle?” snarked Larry with his trademark smirk, likely brought straight from hell. Peach was having none of his attitude. She put her hands on her hips, and with equal glibness to the blue-haired skulker, she gave answer.

“Because _my_ castle isn’t some Beanish terrorist’s private movie cinema, _is it_? I’m sorry, _Lawrence_ , but do have any better ideas of where we should go? I invite anyone’s input.”

Larry groaned, and rolled his big blues, knowing from both experience and eavesdropping that to cross spoken swords with Mama Peach was a fool’s errand. _Not even Ludwig can survive_ _it_ _. And Ludwig’s prolly the closest thing the Koopa Troop’s got to a philosophilly-cheesesteak-whatever-you-frickin-call it. King Dad’s got his minions_ , _she’s got her arguments,_ he mused to himself, smirking at his own witticism. He spoke up, rather proudly stroking his blue mohawk back, “No, I don’t have any ideas of where to groove from here, man. Sucks to be us.”

“Well, until then, we’re going to the Sky Kingdom. I know a way to get there without having to go through all of the Mountain Kingdom. Have any of you heard of the Cirrus Stairwell? It’s the quickest way from here to the Sky Kingdom. It goes straight up from the highest mountains into the Sky Castle. I think I could lead you all to it from here.”

“The Serious Stairwell?” asked Wendy. “Am I hearing you right or is my head still mussed up from that beatdown we all got a while ago?”

“No, the _Cirrus_ Stairwell, ya silly. It’s made of like clouds and stuff, which in turn is water vapor that rises high into the—” Morton began, before Iggy in an unwitting act of mercy, cut him off.

“HAHAHAHA! This is perfect! It works!! My invention works! FINALLY!! AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The bespectacled inventor then took to merrily prancing about, cheering about his latest technological triumph as if it had just saved the world.

Larry, Junior and Wendy all glanced uneasily at each other.

“Iggy was supposed to have a therapy session today, but I guess that’s not the case anymore. But still, did… did any of you give Iggy his meds?” said Wendy, out of genuine concern.

“Larry, it was your turn this week,” whispered Junior.

Larry went wide-eyed as he whispered back, “Crud.”


	11. A Lucky Prank

**Chapter XI: A Lucky Prank**

“Woah! So that’s how you saved the world, King Dad? That Dimentio guy had it comin’, stabbing his boss like that in the back!” exclaimed Lemmy, finding his father’s rather biased retelling of his adventures with the Mario Bros and Princess Peach to stop Count Bleck to be absolutely enrapturing. As was to be expected, the roles of the Bros were played down ridiculously, and any opportunity where Bowser ‘saved’ Princess Peach was played up excessively. This version of Peach also gave out kisses to Bowser rather freely. Bowser even “recalled” confronting _two_ mysterious marauders with moustaches, named Mr. M and Mr. L, respectively, and winning in battle against them and their Brobots.

“Father? The Chaos Heart you spoke of, that force that can erase worlds and create them anew, what would you have done with it, had you taken possession of it?” asked Ludwig, raising those blue eyebrows of his as his conjectures and predictions about that question were about to be tested against reality. The other Koopalings and the four present minions looked at Bowser expectantly.

“Well… um… uh… I would… well… uh… I would use it to… uh… get rid of Mario and Green ‘Stache… somehow. Yeah,” grumbled the Koopa King, caught off guard by Ludwig’s query. He decided to roll with it. “And make Princess Peach realize how handsome and awesome her hubby is!” he finished with confidence, flipping his mane of red hair as he spoke and striking a pose to show off his arm muscles. Ludwig and Roy chuckled to each other quietly, while Lemmy, always easily entertained, laughed cheerfully from within his shell. Two small hands popped out of it to applaud.

“So, dat’s where Wendy gets dat from,” muttered Roy.

“It would seem so, Roy. It would seem so.”

“Anyway,” said Bowser, “we should find somewhere to hold out for the night. For once, I’m starting to get tuckered out.”

“Your Weariness, I perceive in the near distance a cave, of suitable size for us. Allow me to investigate, Your Exhaustedness,” said Kamek, astride his broom. He turned quickly zooming to a small spot of dark in the twisted mountains of Dark Land. The others stopped, waiting for Kamek to return.

“How in Stars can this be?!” screamed Kamek’s voice. Bowser was off at a run towards the cave in an instance, almost knocking Lemmy over. Sure, thousands of minions would be deployed out, only to get stomped on, but there was only one Kamek, and Kamek was one of the few invaluable minions. The three Koopalings and the Elite Trio broke off at a run as well, lagging behind the King. Soon Bowser stood at the mouth of the cave, panting from the effort. “KAMEK! WHAT’S GOING ON? IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT DYING ON ME I WILL BURN YOU!”

“I’m not dying, Your Windedness! I found something most useful to us! Come here, all of you! I-if you so wish, Your Nastiness,” replied Kamek, excitement in his voice. A dim yellow light shone a short ways into the cave. Feeling highly suspicious, Bowser went in. After turning a corner, he saw Kamek, holding his wand, the crystal emanating a bright light like a lamp, and also what surprised the old wizard: a Clown Car!

“What in the… What is that doing here? Kamek, is this a backstabbing Fawful trick?”

“No, Your Incredulousness. It’s real! And, to top it all off, it’s either Car Four or Five, one of the most efficient models in your possession, especially compared to the one most recently lost. If you’re looking to snatch a Princess, this is your vehicle, milord. This battery-powered monster could get you and everyone here to Sarasaland and back via the Mushroom Kingdom, and that’s the long way!” said Kamek, his mood greatly improved by this discover.

The Elite Trio and the Koopalings rounded this corner, gasping at this uncanny stroke of luck. Only Lemmy gasped out of fright, the others seemed overjoyed.

“’Ey. Lem. You look like you just seen a ghost. What’s da deal witchu, kid?” asked Roy, the first to notice Lemmy’s reaction.

“Son, what’s there to be scared about? It’s a clown car. You crash’em all the time,” said Bowser, raising a bushy eyebrow. Lemmy looked up at his dad nervously, before stuttering profusely.

“Well, uh, I um, did, yeah, um, which did a… it was… April Fool’s day thing… um… borrowed it… hid it here, er, um, yeah… ”

“Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that the reason my awesome Clown Car went missing a while ago was for ONE OF YOUR IDIOTIC APRIL FOOL’S PRANKS? AND YOU HID THE THING _HERE_?” roared Bowser, his temper surging like a tsunami. “YOU’RE LUCKY _WE_ GOT LUCKY TODAY, SQUIRT, OR YOU’D’VE JOINED THOSE THREE SCHMUCKS OVER THERE AS LIFETIME MEMBERS OF THE BOWSER BURNAGE FAN CLUB!” The King pointed at the cowering Elite Trio, who cowered some more and whimpered audibly at the traumatic mention of burnage. “AND FURTHERMORE—” Bowser’s rage paused, once he looked into Lemmy’s watering eyes, the tears pooling, saw his quivering lower lip, and then saw the little Koopaling duck into his shell, sobbing inconsolably.

“I thought you would think it was funny… I’m sorry…” sobbed Lemmy. If there was anything that could make Bowser hate being an evil tyrant, it was when he made Lemmy cry. Lemmy’s personality consisted of one of two moods: incredible joy and heart-wrenching sadness.

“Not again, Pops. Please, not wit’ da crying again. Dis goofball’s ‘bout to make us all deaf with his boo-hoo-sob-sobbin’!” groaned Roy, leaning his bald head back in exasperation and rubbing the bridge of his snout. Ludwig, facepalming once he had uncovered his ears from Bowser’s loud tirade, took Roy’s side.

“Father, you have to understand. Having to hear Lemmy weep for another minute is worse than hearing Morton give a lecture about, well, anything. By which I mean casual conversation with him. At least the latter can be tuned out with sufficient mental effort and discipline, or interrupted. _This_ noise,” he said, gesturing to Lemmy, “bypasses all such auditory defenses. Lemmy’s crying ranks among some of the most disruptive high decibel noises, along with Wendy’s screaming, your yelling, and Larry’s so-called ‘music.’ Curious how such records are all within this family.”

“What do dey even call dat crap Larry listens to anyway?” asked Roy, now trying to recall the genre.

“Disco,” said Ludwig, with a shudder. “Have I ever mentioned the time I stumbled into Larry’s room last month? I was seeking some of the intelligence he had procured for the scheme at the time, only to see him, as he so eloquently names it, ‘groovin’ while arrayed in the most ridiculous of attire. Bell bottom pants, a loose button up shirt, rhinestone sunglasses, and other wearable abominations. I recall his hair was made puffier than usual. I opened the door, was blinded by that infernal disco ball, then I closed the door, waiting until his insanity had receded and the sudden onset of my nausea would calm down. I always make sure to knock whenever I approach Larry’s room now, so I would not be caught off guard,” said Ludwig. Roy removed his shades, rubbed his cyan eyes, replaced the shades, and started laughing. The thought of his second youngest sibling wearing such clothes with poofy hair and dancing beneath the multi-colored light of a disco ball gave him something to laugh heartily at. Lemmy had paused his sobs to listen in, but still remained in his shell. Whether he was silently laughing or silently crying is a mystery for the ages.

Bowser snickered at Ludwig’s story. _So,_ _Larry likes disco_ _?_ _Ohohoho, I’ll remember that one_ _,_ he thought wickedly to himself. He was gonna poke so much fun at Larry when the two met up again. If they meet up again. That thought made the King look at the wall of the cave. The very fact that meeting his own son again a debatable question made him furious. Furious at Fawful. _The last thing that_ _green_ _chump’s gonna_ _feel_ _is my FIST_ _crashing into his ugly face_ _._ His hands clenched into fists, and his teeth bared. The poor fellow on the receiving end of Bowser’s punch was toast. _I swear he will. I don’t care if all of me that’s left at the end is a_ _giant pile of bones_ _, that Fawful loser’_ _s gonna learn not_ _to mess with_ _King_ _Bowser_ _and_ _family!_ His anger driving him, Bowser cut short the others’ laughter, barking loudly, “Well, that was a silly story, but we’re gonna get going, now. My castle isn’t gonna recapture itself.” He then hopped into the Clown Car, taking his seat at the steering wheel, and looking at the wide screen that was placed between his seat and the pink passenger’s seat. Kamek, on his broom still, floated over his shoulder.

“Oooh! Yes! It’s Number 4! You wanted the spiked emergency brake on this one, remember?” he said. “This one’s button activated! No keys necessary, haha!” Finding the button, a large red one, Bowser pressed it. With a growl, the car’s engine came to life. A large display turned on, showing the battery percentage: 93

“This day just gets better and better!” said Kamek. “This might shut down over Mountain Kingdom returning from a round trip to Sarasaland, but it will get us to Peach’s Castle and back, no problem! Excellent!”

Bowser gave his trademark evil laugh, a full-bodied ‘BWAHAHAHAHAHA!’ and bellowed “Now we’re in business! Alright, sons and minions, into the car! And stay out of Peach’s seat! Or else!” He gestured to the passenger seat adjacent to him, colored hot pink.

Lemmy, his mood switched once again to joy, hopped uselessly to get into the Clown Car. Roy picked the little ball of fun and tossed him him, then the literal ball, and leapt up himself afterwards. “Glad to not hear him crying no more,” muttered Roy. Ludwig jumped, grabbing a hold of the rim of the Car, and scrambled in. Sergeant Guy and Private Goomp looked expectantly at Corporal Paraplonk, who rolled his eyes.

“Should learn to jump like the enemy. Might save me some effort. But _nooo_ ,” he grumbled, taking hold of the Private and floating up to deposit him in the Clown Car. The Sergeant jumped to catch the Private’s boots.

“Not again. Please. One at a time. Come on,” whined the Corporal, his workload now doubled. After a few painful minutes of straining and lifting his comrades, Paraplonk at last placed them in the Clown Car, wiping the sweat from his brow. Bowser had been glaring at the three impatiently and tapping his fingers on the rim of the Car as his guards struggled. He turned to Roy.

“Do you mind tossing those two in next time? If they take that long again I’ll become a Dry Bones. If you need an incentive, how about a new set of weights? Those old ones looked really beat up.”

“Sure thing, Pops. Don’tchu worry about them weights, dough. Anything ta help da old man get da castle back.” Bowser chuckled at that, and turned to drive the Car out of the cave. Princess Peach’s selflessness was rubbing off on the kids. Usually Roy needed that sort of incentive to do anything. How much _kindness did_ _Bow_ _se_ _r_ _hi_ _msel_ _f_ _pick up from_ her? Best not for the Koopa King, a warlord of tyrannical repute, to ask such questions of himself. He shifted the Car into Drive, and slowly rolled out of the cave, Kamek and Paraplonk following close behind. Once clear of the cave, Bowser shifted the Car again, this time to Fly. It leapt up into the air, its wheels retracting, and a propeller emerging from the bottom and spinning rapidly. Breaking the clouds, the Clown Car’s orange smile turned towards the green fields and low rolling hills of the Grasslands, and thence, to the Mushroom Castle.


	12. A Cloudy Soujourn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains fluff. Thanks for reading, and enjoy.

**Chapter XII: Cloudy Sojourn**

“So… heff… here we are. The Cirrus Stairwell,” said Peach, resting her hands on her knees to catch her breath. With the exception of Starlow, for whom walking was a non-issue, everyone else was very much winded as they stood atop a wide ledge, towards the top of a great mountain. They had been journeying for several hours in the Mountain Kingdom, through the golden sunset, and stood upon the bare mountain in twilight. The only object of interest was a waist-height stone pedestal with no form of decoration.

“Mama? I… huff… don’t see _anything_ that looks like a stairway in the least. And now I went on a hike that probably ruined my makeup to see nothing. Great,” groaned Wendy, wiping sweat from her brow, and bringing forth her hand mirror again to ensure her perfect looks were not disrupted by the trek. High-endurance activity like hiking wasn’t exactly her cup of tea.

“I’m sure the… hooh… Princess knows what she’s doing,” said Luigi. “She wouldna brought us here without a plan and all.” He wiped his face with his cap. “Ey, bro?”

“I think so too. I mean, she managed to get the four of us across a huge ravine going into this place. Not the Mario Bros coulda gotten across without her help,” agreed Mario.

“If that’s so, what are ya gonna do then?” asked Morton. Iggy had some helpful input to add as well as well. “We’re off to see the Wizard! The Lovable Wizard of Soap! Lalalalalalalalalala!” he sang, prancing merrily in a circle. Junior whispered uneasily to Larry, “Did any of us bring his straightjacket?”

“No sirree. We’re more dunzo than a steak. He was due for another therapy session this week. That Fawful guy’s gonna get it so hard _he’ll_ need therapy, dude.”

Peach, ever the gentle soul, made no comment on Iggy’s mental state. “I didn’t say it at the time, but the Stairwell is one of Sky Kingdom’s most protected entrances. Don’t give your father any ideas about it, though. No amount of Koopa magic can call down the Stairwell. If it was here all the time, this area would be in a lot of trouble. But thanks to the magic of this place, that’s not the case. Now, if you’ll stand back for a moment or two, I can summon it,” said the Princess, stepping forward towards the stone pedestal. Placing one white-gloved hand upon it, Peach whispered something, as the gem inlaid upon her brooch glowed brightly. The wind picked up, blowing steadily towards Bowser’s Kingdom. The veil of mist that forever lay over the Mountain Kingdom stirred, as part of it rose, upwards and upwards, resolving itself into the shape of a long, outstretched arm, reaching at a low angle up towards the Sky Kingdom, an island of gently swirling clouds far above and away. Withdrawing her hand, the Princess stepped forward onto the stairway, turning to see the amazed reactions of her companions.

“Woah! I’ve heard of this Aeromancy stuff, never seen it in person. Apparently, some of the creators of the magic school were rogue Magikoopas who had had enough with the Koopa Troop so they decided to—”

“Oooh! Mama’s so magical! Can she magic my makeup back? Make it _permanent_?”

“Mama’s so powerful… How does she let Papa kidnap her so much?”

“That is a whole new level of groovy. Where’d I put my my rhinestone shades? I gotta keep the ”

“Chocolate marinara, no onions and extra sprinkles.”  
“Mamma mia! Look at that, Mario!”

“Luigi? Did you undercook the spaghetti? I’m seeing things, right? ”

“No.”

“I’ve seen so much Star magic back home, I thought any other kinds wouldn’t impress. I was so wrong.”

Peach beckoned to them. “Come on! The sooner we get to Sky Kingdom, the sooner we can get some sleep, and then a blimp back to my castle.”

“Sleep? I could stand to do some of that!” exclaimed Wendy. “But are you sure this thing will carry all of us?”

“Wendy. Bringing you up a magic stairway that couldn’t hold all of you would be a cruel, deadly, prank. I need you to trust me. Do you trust me?”

“Yeah. Well, I mean, sorta.”

“Let’s go up then. Time is wasting.” And up Peach went. The Mario Bros stepped to the base of the cloud-made stairs, looked at the other Koopalings and Bowser’s heir apparent, and smiling, they gave their classic cheer.

“Let’sa go!”

For once, the Koopalings smiled back at the cry, and followed the Mario Bros and the Princess up the Cirrus Stairwell. Only the unseen eavesdropper, a Fawfulcopter concealed behind a nearby boulder, remained behind, watching as the bold adventurers made their way up into a land that kissed the sky. As they went out of sight, the small machine whirred upwards, making its way back towards Bowser’s Castle, the base of its creator.

Gravity seemed to hold a weak influence on the stairs, letting all upon the stair hop as if they were ten-fold lighter. The Bros’ jumps seemed to reach whole new heights, which they seemed to enjoy.

“Woah, dude, this is like World-9 trippy,” remarked Larry in chill wonder, in the middle of an involuntary front flip, as he held on to his tinted sunglasses. Poor Morton struggled not to stumble about. Failing at that, he began helplessly bouncing about. Iggy and Junior, feeling quite the troublemakers, worsened the issue by playing volleyball, using heavyset Morton as the ball. They seemed to be having the time of their lives, at Morton’s expense. After five minutes of quiet shock at his turn of fortune, Morton resigned himself to his fate as an oversized volleyball. Wendy suppressed a giggle at the pair’s antics as she bounded forward, the most coordinated Koopaling of those present. _These boys, my Stars, they’re so funny,_ she mused to herself with a smile.

Thankfully, Morton’s suffering only went on for about a half-hour, as by that time, the Sky Kingdom was in sight. Even in the dark, the land was a beautiful medley of cumulus forests, fields of stratus, and cumulonimbus mountains, all stained blue in the light of the half-moon. Not far off in the distance was a city at the base of a hill, and atop the hill sat a vast chateau, its peaked towers and crenelated turrets rising upward into the sky.

“There it is. Aether City, and above it there, the Zenith Chateau. I’m sure some of you know the name of these places by now,” declared Peach, pointing grandly towards the city in the distance. “We just need to make our way there, and we’ll be at my castle before you know it!”

“Mama? Please, can we take a rest sometime soon? The sun’s probably gonna rise soon, and I’m dead tired,” complained Wendy, ensuring her look was still perfect in her handheld mirror.

“I don’t complain like Wen, but I _really_ wanna take a nap or something, Mama,” said Junior, struggling to keep his eyes open. Wendy simply glared at Junior when he made his jibe about Wendy often complaining.

“I could crash in a bath of lava right about now, man,” groaned Larry. Peach stopped, almost startling Luigi, who was dragging a snoring Mario along, and looked around for anything that could provide shelter. A rock, more specifically, a “rock” made from clouds, seemed to do nicely.

“Hmm… That space over there, we can get some sleep for a few hours, but one of us has to keep watch, I’d say. No knowing if Fawful’s minions are in Sky Kingdom too, or how many.”

“I’ll keep an eye out, Princess,” said Starlow. “I’m a Star Sprite, so I don’t need to sleep, often. You all look very tired, so don’t worry about changing the watch. Get yourselves some Zs.” After some time, the group was settled under this rock and soundly snoozing. Peach slept quietly, sitting up, Junior leaning against her on one side, Larry from the other. Morton went into his shell, and would have kept everyone around him up with his snoring, were they not so exhausted. Wendy also retracted into her shell, being careful not to disrupt her perfectly arranged bow. Mario and Luigi slept on opposite sides of the group, the former quietly talking in his sleep (something about ravioli), the latter snoring quietly. Starlow perched herself atop the “rock,” which gave a commanding view of the Sky Kingdom. The higher altitude was nice, as most clouds lay below the Kingdom, and the pale light of the stars was unobscured, mingling with the pale blue moonlight. The moon itself sat halfway between its zenith and the horizon. _Just a few more hours before dawn… Then we can hopefully get on our way,_ thought Starlow, sighing. She looked upward, wistfully again, homesickness in her heart.

It was then she took notice that the comet from before, the bright blue streak across the darkened sky, was gone. _Important things happen when the comet’s around, but it’s not there anymore. Maybe, I’ll be the one who’s sleeping, instead of the others. I’ll wake up, and I’ll be home, with my friends._ Starlow bit her lip, uselessly attempting to stifle several bright, shining tears. Shakily, she whispered gently into the night. “I wish… I could be home again.” She choked up as she finished. “Stars, I miss it so!” That burning thought was her breaking point. Quietly, she wept. Every breath brought a wave of pain across her heart.

“Starlow?” came a voice from behind her. She jumped, almost falling off of the rock. It was Peach, standing a short distance away. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah…” stuttered the Star Sprite. The moonlight in Peach’s bright blue eyes illuminated the fact that the Princess didn’t believe a single word of it (there was only one to choose from anyway). _Why did she catch me like this? I’m a Star Sprite,_ _why am I like this now?_ thought Starlow, panic in her mind, and she desparately sought for a way to hide her large, shiny tears.

Peach calmly walked toward Starlow, and knelt down beside her. Starlow averted her gaze from the Princess. The Star Sprite didn’t entirely see what was happened next, but it surprised her completely. Peach gently put her arms around Starlow, pulling her into a gentle, loving embrace.

“W-what is th-this?” whispered Starlow, full of confusion.

“I’m giving you a hug.”

“What’s… a h-hug?”

“It means I care about you. Something’s bothering you, isn’t it? You can talk to me about if you want. If you feel like crying will make you feel better, that’s okay too.” Starlow paused for a moment, fighting back more of her almost luminous tears.

“I… I…. m-miss my… home…” she whispered, almost completely silent. Then once again were the floodgates opened. Quietly, like before, Starlow began sobbing, but it wasn’t painful. It almost felt… good. Perhaps that just came from the warmth of Peach’s hug. Starlow didn’t care, really. Her tears, big and glowing an slightly yellowish color, like a star in the sky, pit-patted on the ground

“It’s alright, Starlow. I’m here for you,” whispered Peach, tightening her embrace slightly. She slowly moved backward, assuming a _seiza_ position on the cloudy rock. Before long, Starlow had cried herself to sleep. Peach still held the snoozing Star Sprite close in her arms. _I’ll keep watch for her,_ thought Peach. She looked up, and whispered gently towards the stars. “I wish Starlow could visit home, so she can be happy.”

As if in answer, a single star flickered brightly, and the Princess smiled.


	13. Feud over Food

**Chapter XIII: Feud over Food**

Peach woke up. She was still holding Starlow in her arms from the night before. The moon, once sitting above the horizon, was gone, and the sun was starting to peek over it instead. _Oh no! We need to get moving!_ thought the Princess. She gently tried to wake Starlow up.

“Starlow. Starlow. Starlow!” she whispered, growing louder each time. She started to gently shake the Star Sprite to and fro. Success!

“Hmmm? Wha… Princess? Whoa whoa whoa! Why were you holding me like that?” exclaimed Starlow, flying out of Peach’s arms with surprise in her voice.

“You were… fairly upset last night. I was hugging you in hopes of making you feel better, and you fell asleep.”

“Oh… y-yes… I was crying, wasn’t I?” said Starlow, the memories returning. Peach nodded. “Please, Princess, don’t… mention this to anyone.”

“Not a word. It’s alright, Starlow. Remember what I said. I’m here for you, alright? If you start feeling like that again, you can talk to me, if you want.” Starlow nodded in response.

“Yeah. I will. I haven’t… been close with anyone on this world. I guess it’s just that I feel so… foreign. Like I don’t belong. It’s a really lonely feeling.”

“I understand how you feel, to some degree. Being royalty isn’t just wearing a crown, making cakes, and getting kidnapped by overgrown turtles. It makes one feel as if they are all alone in the world. But I won’t burden you with my problems.”

“Why not have this work both ways, Princess? You can talk to me about your problems, and vice-versa. So that way neither of us feel alone all the time?”

“I like that idea. But still, we don’t have much time to talk about personal problems right now.”

“Agreed. There’s no knowing what Fawful could do next.”

“I’ll get the others up. We need to get moving.”

“Yeah. By the way, Princess, thanks. That… was something I really needed. And uh, before we go… could you… do that again?”

“Do what?”

“Hug me… ?” At this, Peach smiled. She did the same thing she did the night before, gently bring Starlow in for a warm embrace. This time, Starlow smiled contentedly _._ After a few minutes, the two of them let go, and decided to wake the others and continue towards Aether City.

After some hours of travel and withstanding a barrage of ‘I’m hungries’, the group had made it to the outskirts of Aether City. Then, a great war broke out. Thecause? Where to eat.

“I say we get some Italian! Right, bro?”

“Oh yeah, Luigi! Ravioli for-a the win!”

“No way, dude. Burgers or nothin’. Noodles and tomatoes are for losers.”

“Larry, burgers so greasy and I read they’re really bad for your scales, let alone your figure! Sushi is the right way to go!”  
“At least with a decent burger, I _know_ the meat won’t move around when I eat it, _Wendy_.”

“For your information, the seafood in sushi is not alive, but it is usually served raw. Sometimes they cook it, but it’s not like everything has to be cooked to be edible. And if you value your oh-so precious hair, you’ll shut up right now, Larry. If you don’t, I’ll leave you with less hair than _Roy_ when I’m through with you.”

“AAAH! Not cool, sis! I never said anything that low down, man!”

“Guys, what if we tried some escargots? There’s got to be a place around here to get some.”

A pause ensued, all eyes on Morton, who had suggested the escargots. Wendy was having none of it.

“Shut up, Morton! You’ve got less taste in food than hairs on your head. Who wants to eat-”

Morton’s terse response was the last straw for Wendy. “Wait, remind me who here is bald again?”

“ALL OF YOU! STOP!” cried Peach, an unusual amount of annoyance in her voice. She’d had enough. The Mario Bros looked ready to step in, but they were also curious to see how the ‘war’ for breakfast would progress. The Koopalings froze, all staring wide-eyed at Peach. Wendy, wielding a hapless Larry by his hair, was about to start pummeling Morton for his well-placed retort. Somehow, Iggy had produced a theater-style bucket of burnt popcorn from his shell and froze with a handful halfway to his mouth, ready to enjoy the show. Junior was cringing with terror, knowing full well the familial cataclysm that was about to unfold, that Peach had thankfully averted. “Sorry for yelling. We _will_ get… breakfast food! I’m the Princess and my word goes. There’s got to be a breakfast restaurant around here somewhere. Just think of it! Eggs, bacon, sausage, waffles! You even get to choose that sort of stuff!”

This got the Koopalings and the Bros thinking.

“Alrighty, Princess. Me anda Luigi can getta behind that!”

“I could really go for some quiche right now, Mama, now that you mention it.”

“Escargots? The Morton who suggested that is an idiot! I, the new, enlightened Morton, think that some over-easy eggs with ham and pancakes will hit the spot!”

“New and enlightened, huh? How many more ‘new and enlightened Mortons’ do you need to go through to even be somewhat smart?”

“Shut it, sis!”

“Fine, fine! Mama, will having some muffins harm my svelte figure?”

“Wait, you’re svelte? I guess Mama Peach is a Dry Bones then... Why are you looking at me like that, sis? I didn’t say noth-OW OW OW OW OW OW! My hair! WAAAH! Another one of my beautiful blue locks! Gone! That’s two in one day! Oh Stars! You’re gonna make me bald before my time, Wen! I’m too fab to go bald!”

“It was just one hair, Larry. You’ll live, for now.”

“GUYS, WILL YOU SHUT UP? YOU’RE GONNA MAKE MAMA PEACH MAD!” yelled Junior furiously, stopping in his tracks and stomping his foot with every word for seismic emphasis. The last word of his yelling was punctuated by a small fireball, which impacted on the ground, much to Iggy’s chagrin.

“ _Junior_! My popcorn! You startled me and made me spill it! I’m gonna-”

“Look, here’s a breakfast place! Now can we please get this out of the way? You’ve been arguing over what’s for breakfast for the last five minutes, so please, for the love of Stars, stop!” groaned Starlow. She turned to Peach, who was about to talk to Junior, probably about yelling. “Princess, you’re ruling two kingdoms, the Mushroom one and the kingdom of absolute insanity. I gotta ask again: how do you handle these wackos? To top it all off, we’re four short of the whole shebang!”

“I’ll answer you again as I did before: they need love and affection. While I’m sure their father cares greatly about their safety, he’s got the emotional capacity of a thimble.”

“Makes sense, since he thinks kidnapping you will somehow make you fall for him.”

“In a sense, Bowser himself is like a child. He hasn’t really grown up. I… would guess that that’s because he didn’t have a proper childhood. I don’t hate him, really. I pity him. But we can talk about that another time.” She turned to the Koopalings. “I need you to be on your best behavior. The better you behave, the sooner we can go to find your father, alright?” She turned to Junior now. “Junior, I know you yelled like that because you care, but yelling only helps so much with things. Try not to do that in the future, okay?”

“Y-yes, Mama.”

At that point, this rather outlandish group of royalty, plumbers, and a Star Sprite made their way into a small breakfast joint. They were the largest and most peculiar party present. The rest were Koopas, Toads, Goombas, and Shy Guys, who all got along nicely. Soon, all of Peach’s group who were hungry (meaning everyone except Starlow, who didn’t need food) had received a breakfast to their liking. Peach ate light, healthy options, knowing better than to cope by eating poorly. The Mario Bros each received a helping of pancakes, which they found to be most delectable. Junior, immature as he was, got half of what Peach got, and half the amount of pancakes the Bros got. The Koopalings present went bug-eyed when their sister _actually_ ordered something that wasn’t compliant to the rules of some obscure and likely ineffective fad diet she had read in a magazine somewhere: two cinnamon rolls and whatever milk they had.

Iggy likely gave the sleep-deprived waitress, an unfortunate Goomba, PTSD and made his siblings gag with his unnerving ear-to-ear grin and his equally bizarre order: 3.14 deep fried buckwheat pancakes topped with fry sauce. By the time Iggy had reached the fry sauce part, he was already brandishing a butter knife, claiming that he could make it a weapon of mass destruction by rearranging a few molecules, if the kitchen failed him. Before the emerging crisis could escalate, Peach put the foot down and ordered some finger-food for Iggy, who begrudgingly surrendered the butter knife as well. His backup weapon, a bent fork that had accompanied the knife, was extracted from him after further pressure from Peach, who had assumed a more authoritative stance now that they were in a public establishment. Such a regal demeanor, not to mention the presence of the three most important people in the whole Mushroom Kingdom, saved the group from being thrown out.

Larry attempted to explain what quiche was to the now anxious waitress (part of the explanation included that it was an essential food group, the other two groups being hamburgers and carrot cake), before an old Toad nearby who happened to overhear the order explained the ancient recipe more understandably. After Morton tried to quiz Larry on other kinds of “ancient recipes”, Larry gave up on quiche and with a surly eye roll took the waitress’ recommendation.

Morton’s order was a much-needed simple task for the waitress. Unlike Iggy or Larry, he actually ordered off the menu. Once trouble had been solved, the food arrived, and those who were forced to order against their preferences were surprised that they enjoyed the simple, tasty meals that each of them received. Junior made a valiant attempt at the half of his order that resembled Peach’s, fruits and a simple oatmeal, but he quickly found it unsuited to his palette, so he instead attacked his pancakes, and those being rapidly vanquished, he hungrily eyed his next conquest: Luigi’s pancakes. But before he could commence, Peach unknowingly intervened, encouraging him to give the barely touched half of his own meal another shot, which he finally did after several attempts of persuasion on Peach’s part. The next bite of fruit wasn’t so much of a shocker the second time. The next spoonful of oatmeal seemed… almost edible to Junior now. Maybe tasty and healthy _could_ describe the same item. Maybe Papa was just angry at healthy food. Who knows?

Thankfully for Peach’s sparkling reputation and the sanity of the restaurant, the remainder of breakfast proceeded without further incident, and the group left the restaurant, satisfied. Junior might even want to get his hands on some oatmeal and fruit. _Well, maybe I should think it over. Heck with it, where can I get MORE? I don’t know why I like it so much! I hated it when I got in this place. Is this place just messing with my head?_

Peach led them along the streets of the city as inconspicuously as she could manage, which, with company like this, was not inconspicuous at all. They were traversing the main square, still under repairs from the bombing incident several days before, when a voice, definitely amplified through a loud speaker of sorts, guffawed and bellowed at the whole city, who paused as a captive audience.

“HEY, HEY, HEY! IT’S ME, THE UNBREAKABLE, THE UNSURPASSED, THE UNPALATABLE, THE KING BOWSER HERE! AND GUESS WHAT, STUPID LOSER BROS? I GOT PRINCESS PEACH WITH ME! I KNOW WHERE YOU CHUMPS ARE! DON’T BE SHY! YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME! AT MY AWESOME, UNASSAILABLE, TOTALLY-NOT-ALREADY-TAKEN-OVER-BY-SOME-GEEK-WITH-A-BEEF CASTLE! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”


End file.
